Now, now, I am not supporting the ruthless killing of billions here, but you have to agree that working for the Time Variance Authority in Loki has major perks. You don’t age, the power to visit any point in time (and evidently even branch timelines), working with Mobius and O.B., your past doesn’t matter anymore, the choice to prune annoying individuals, etc. But the biggest advantage of being a TVA employee was revealed in season 2, episode 2.
While I am far from matching the bravery of Supernatural’s Dean Winchester, I have always shared his devotion to apple pie and his bad luck in never getting one. So, here I was, wondering how cool it would be to work at the TVA – I am sure Loki will give Kang’s ass the whooping it needs and send him packing – when Mobius and Loki end up at a Pie-freaking-room! Yes, a room in the TVA that only serves pie, and that too for free!
Boy, whatever lingering reservations I had about the TVA instantly dissipated into thin air. I mean, just walk into the room of Pies – gives me a thrill just saying it – open what appears to be designated lockers, and take your pie, which is always ready, fresh, and available anytime you want. That right there is my customized definition of the American dream.
But then, as I was daydreaming of strutting down the halls of the TVA, after visiting 1982’s Broxton for a McDonald’s burger, to gorge myself on a big slice of apple pie, the episode cruelly shattered all my hopes as my eyes zeroed in on a poster in the room.
Are you kidding me? Only ONE pie slice a WEEK and you only get 17 minutes to eat it? I thought TVA functioned outside time and space, but evidently, bringing hell to its headquarters is the exception. I was ready to make peace with TVA employees not getting vacation days and living with the distraction of Loki constantly flipping his hair in the hallways, but only pie a week and not even getting enough time to enjoy it? There really is no space for humanity at the TVA.