A monument to man’s hubris, a testament to our ability to put so many milligrams of sodium into a sandwich that they can technically be measured in “grams.” Something has awakened the beast. The McDonald’s Double Big Mac is returning.
Somehow not named “The Bigger Mac,” the Double Big Mac didn’t exactly make waves when it premiered in 2020, perhaps due to the surgical precision with which it picked a debut year in which it wouldn’t be the most famously hazardous addition to the medical landscape. Nevertheless, its power and popularity grew as word spread to the masses that there was a new Mac in town, and that this one was roughly twice as big as the first. Then, like Keyser Soze, or the public’s enthusiasm for Kevin Spacey references, it was gone. Fans were left with no recourse but to order two regular Big Macs and smash them together like a pair of cymbals, hoping against hope that they would perfectly combine into a bigger Mac, like two hunks of Flubber made of cow.
Now, that dark time is almost passed. McDonald’s has announced that all 740 calories of the Double Big Mac are headed back to menus. What’s more, they’re practically here.
When will the Double Big Mac be mine to hold?
Fans of Macs that are even bigger than Big have a lot to look forward to in the coming days. According to a January 9 press release from McDonald’s that someone was presumably paid to write, the Double Big Mac returns to “participating McDonald’s” on January 24, 2024. Whether non-participating locations are exercising some form of passive resistance is a matter between them and their concept of goodness. Whatever the case, you’ll want to move fast, as the Double Big Mac is only available for a limited time. Once it’s gone, you’ll have to go back to ordering a regular Big Mac with two extra patties, like a peasant.
The Double Big Mac, which the statement from McDonald’s corporate office described as “double the fun with four 100% all-beef patties and more Big Mac sauce,” will vary in price depending on location. It boasts 1020 milligrams of sodium, 85% of your daily recommended intake of saturated fat, and, to be fair, a more than respectable serving of iron. It remains the only viable proposed solution to Earth’s crippling overabundance of beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, and sesame seed buns.