King Charles waited seven long decades to take the throne, yet his reign had barely begun before he was diagnosed with a form of cancer. He’s now undergoing treatment, though right now we don’t know what kind of cancer he has and nobody is entirely sure of his condition.
Buckingham Palace is, perhaps understandably, playing their cards close to their chest on the King’s health. So far it’s been confirmed that his cancer isn’t of the prostate and that, coupled with the fact that Queen Camilla is happy to jet off for a solo tropical holiday indicates he’s not in imminent danger of kicking the bucket.
But a bizarre new story presupposes something shocking: what if Charles doesn’t have cancer at all?
The interview
In an appearance on U.K. chatshow The Jeremy Vine Show his guest Carole Malone very confidently said that Charles “doesn’t have cancer”. When pressed on this comment Malone added “I can’t say what it is, but I know”.
As you would expect Malone’s comment has been widely reshared and thrown on the teetering pile of conspiracy theories about the Royal family. Comments from the public run the gamut from dismissive to furious:
“I find it hard to believe that even the royal family would lie about something as serious as Charles having cancer.”
A few give it some credence:
If this is true that King Charles doesn’t have cancer, they are disgusting people. Cancer devastates so many families across the world, mine included. I will never ever forgive them for this lie.
And questioning the sanity of Malone:
“Carole Malone should be fired full stop. She’s a barking mad banshee.”
So, what’s going on here? At first glance, it would seem ridiculous that Charles is actively faking cancer, as the backlash if the entire story was shown to be a lie would be so immense he’d have to abdicate. But there may be a few vaguely plausible ways Malone is sort of right. Perhaps Charles’ medical team jumped the gun on making the confirmation that he has cancer due to a misdiagnosis, though we’d expect them to correct that misinformation as soon as possible.
If you wanted to be extremely uncharitable you could argue he’s “pulling a sickie” to get off work, which to be fair would neatly explain why Camilla is perfectly happy to spend a week alone sunbathing and sipping cocktails. I don’t buy that and neither should you, after so long waiting for the top job Charles will have known exactly what it entails.
Who is Carole Malone?
Let’s take a closer look at where this strange theory comes from. Carole Malone is a British TV presenter and journalist with a long string of credits. She’s appeared on Loose Women, was a contestant on Celebrity Big Brother in 2007, and has reviewed newspapers for daytime show This Morning.
Malone has also attracted her fair share of controversies. In 2009 she wrote a column in now defunct British tabloid The News of the World claiming that illegal immigrants are being given free cars by the government. This was not true (duh) and the newspaper had to print a retraction and apologize. She was similarly rebuked for comments about a house fire in 2012 that claimed the lives of six children, criticizing their parents for receiving welfare and saying it was “an accident waiting to happen”.
I guess there’s a chance Malone may have the inside scoop on what’s going on behind the walls of Buckingham Palace. Maybe the knowledge that Charles’ cancer doesn’t exist (or is wildly exaggerated) is common amongst the British press but nobody is reporting on it yet? After a three-decade career in journalism, Malone should have some contacts to find out what’s really going on.
Alternatively, we have a journalist and TV presenter with a history of running her mouth about stuff she knows absolutely nothing about and being reprimanded for saying objectively wrong things. We suspect her claims about Charles’ cancer fall into this category. Perhaps we’ll soon get clarification that she misheard the question or misspoke?
As always the relative secrecy from Buckingham Palace means conspiracy theories flourish in an information vacuum. Understandably, this is their health and a private matter for them, but even so, we wish their representatives could be a teeny bit more transparent to prevent bizarre stories like this from taking hold on social media.