We’ve all had bad days. They happen to the best of us, and there is nothing that can make a bad day worse like that final sin — the mistake, the spilled drink, the dropping of your keys just as you finally get home — to push a person over the edge.
Whatever the final nail in the coffin may be, it’s enough motivation to push some of us to simply retire from life. Sorry job, family, pets — it’s no longer worth it. I will no longer be doing, and instead I’ll be dedicating myself to breaking the bed rot record.
The crap cherry on top of a crap day can come in all shapes and sizes, but nothing could push me closer to doing an actual murder than the events that led TikToker @fumptruck to post a desperate but hysterical video to the social media site. Noting at the outset that she’s had “the worst week” of her life, the TikToker details the crummy cards life recently decided to deal her. Still dealing with the fallout from an injury and reeling from a fresh break-up, all the content creator needed was a little comfort food. So she called up her local California Pizza Kitchen to put in an order and requested a little mac and cheese band-aid to take the edge off.
And what did this monstrosity, this absolute villain of a restaurant deliver to the self-labeled “Garage Gremlin?” Cheese. Just cheese. No mac — despite the extremely clear implications present in the meal’s name — just a to-go container full of gooey, likely luke-warm, cheesy goodness.
That, ladies and gentlemen, would be my 13th reason. It’s nearly @fumptruck’s too, which the TikToker makes clear as she explains past hysterical tears that not one, but two entire CPK employees, when asked, informed her that “I should order the noodles separately.”
I’m sorry, did she order a steaming bowl of lies? Why on God’s green Earth is it called “mac and cheese” if the “mac” comes separately? What is this, mac and cheese: some assembly required? Not only did these mac-hating humans inform her that she’s “ordered wrong,” but they confirmed that a single container of cheese is exactly what CFK provides when someone orders mac and cheese. If that’s the case, the menu should absolutely have a note next to the item noting “mac sold separately.”
This sentiment was deeply felt by everyone in the comments, who shared hilarious takeaways that hopefully helped @fumptruck feel a bit better about her situation. There’s just no beating comments like, “He got the macaroni in the divorce,” “You wanted Mac AND cheese? In this economy?” or “Imagine you’re already having a bad day and then someone unmacs your cheese, I cannot fathom.”
Mac and cheese is broadly considered the queen of comfort foods, so pretty much everyone out there can relate to CPK’s utter sin in separating the two vital ingredients in this beloved recipe ⏤ a recipe that’s been around longer than America, by the way, since the earliest mentions of a combo of this sort. Hear that, CPK? A combo — was all the way back in 160 BCE. That’s a long time for a recipe to persist, yet CPK is still fudging the process several centuries later.
At least one good thing came out of the TikToker’s miserable CPK discovery. The restaurant’s own social media caught onto the video, and in response gave a quick tutorial on how they make their now-infamous mac and cheese (so wait, the mac is included?) and also offered customers 50% off all mac and cheese orders with a clever discount code — cheeseANDmac. So get yourself a bowl today, and cross your fingers they don’t forget the ever-necessary mac.