In perhaps the best news since McDonald’s introduced all-day breakfast, Donald Trump has suggested that he’ll flee to Venezuela if he loses the presidential election this November.
The former president made the comments during a recent interview with his billionaire bromantic partner Elon Musk, saying that if “something happens with this election,” the pair should make plans to “have a meeting and dinner in Venezuela.” It would be an adorable first date if it weren’t for the fact that Trump would probably mispronounce the Venezuelan dish, and Musk would… I don’t know, try and send it to space or something.
Trump’s suggestion that he’ll flee the US if his opponent Kamala Harris wins is of course part of his broader fear-mongering tactics, since he claimed that Venezuela — a dictatorship currently enduring great political unrest and civilian violence — will be a “far safer place to meet than our country.”
Trump went on to suggest that the crime rate in Venezuela is “coming down” (which is false), while the US crime rate is “going through the roof” (also false). It goes without saying, since Trump lies as much as he applies fake tan, but neither of those claims are true, which makes Trump’s insistence on fleeing to Venezuela, of all places, all the more puzzling.
It would be especially exciting if Trump prepared his passport and made his Venezuelan plans a promise, but he’s not really great at keeping those, anyway. Trump being bitten by the travel bug is his latest attempt at catastrophizing what might happen if he loses, since he claimed earlier this month that a Harris presidency would result in another Great Depression and World War (so dramatic).
The great irony of all this is that the real catastrophe, Project 2025, is actually what awaits us if Trump is elected, not Harris, so the fear-mongering feels more like a schoolyard tantrum than it does actual concern.
One person eager to get Trump on the first plane outta here is Amy Klobuchar, who summed up our collective reaction to the Venezuelan comment in one word. “Deal!”, the Minnesota Senator wrote on X, adopting a tone so gleeful you can imagine her helping pack Trump’s bags.
Trump threatening to flee the country turns the table on similar discussions that arose in 2016, when celebrities like Cher, Whoopi Goldberg, and Miley Cyrus said they’d move overseas if Trump won the election.
If that trio did hypothetically leave, it would be a big loss for the world of entertainment, but if Trump leaves, we’d probably only lose a few suitcases full of fake tan.