Listen folks, when a woman says no, she’s not playing hard to get. She’s not waiting for you to wear her down with your oh-so-charming persistence. She’s telling you, in no uncertain terms, to back the hell off.
But apparently, some men have a PhD in persistence and a black belt in boundary-crossing. Case in point: A recent TikTok video shared by one woman @thereealdolly. In this infuriating and all-too-familiar scenario, a man approaches her and unleashes a barrage of unwanted advances. He starts by asking her to drive him somewhere, to which she politely declines. But does he accept her answer? Of course not!
He proceeds to shower her with compliments and pleads for her to take his number. The entire interaction is cringeworthy and creepy AF. The man’s inability to respect the woman’s boundaries and accept her rejection is not only disrespectful but also downright predatory. It’s the kind of behavior that makes women feel unsafe and uncomfortable in public spaces. And the worst part? This is not an isolated incident. The comment section of the TikTok video was a sobering reminder of just how common this type of harassment is.
One woman shared how she gave her address to a clerk, only to have a man in the waiting room write it down and then ask if he could come visit her. Another woman had a man follow her from a store to a gas station, and then act surprised when she was creeped out and scared. Many pointed out how difficult it is to deal with men who try to guilt you into saying yes. “If someone has to beg, it’s a red flag,” they wrote.
One user suggested that the solution was to “automatically pepper spray” men who persist after being told no. While I certainly don’t condone violence, I can understand the sentiment behind it. Some praised the woman in the video for handling the situation so well while expressing concern for her safety. “You handled that very well young lady! Stay safe!” one commenter wrote.
According to a study by the nonprofit Stop Street Harassment, 81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault in their lifetime. The most common form of harassment? Verbal sexual harassment, which includes catcalls, unwanted sexual comments, and persistent requests for dates or personal information despite rejection.
It’s not enough to just tell women to be careful or to give them tips on how to avoid harassment. We need systemic change that addresses the root causes of this problem. That means challenging toxic masculinity, promoting healthy relationships and consent, and creating a society where women’s bodily autonomy is respected and valued.