The bromance between Elon Mollusk and Donald Trump has only flourished further since the recent assassination attempt on the former president. Like a lovesick teenager, Musk has thrown caution to the wind, neglecting his crumbling empire while fawning over his tangerine-tinted paramour 24/7 on X.
The self-proclaimed champion of free speech recently posted an AI-generated image portraying Kamala Harris as a dictator, conveniently ignoring the fact that his own platform, X, has strict guidelines against such inflammatory content. Apparently, the rules don’t apply when you’re busy brown-nosing the man who single-handedly tried to dismantle American democracy. Musk appears perfectly content to let the misinformation metastasize, perhaps hoping that it will help catapult his beloved Trump back into the Oval Office.
Not long ago, many hailed Musk as a visionary mastermind who would triumphantly lead humanity to the rusty shores of Mars. But now his reckless impulsiveness and blind devotion to Trump have not only decimated his reputation, but have also sent shockwaves through his once-thriving companies.
Musk’s electric vehicle company, Tesla, has seen its stock price nosedive by a staggering 65% in 2022, erasing an eye-watering $700 billion in market value. The company’s recent performance has been abysmal, with a 7% year-over-year plunge in automotive revenue and a 42% drop in earnings in Q2 2024, and the much-vaunted cybertruck failing to generate the profits, or favorable buzz, that Tesla clearly expected. Meanwhile, rivals like BMW are rocketing ahead, with a dazzling 35% surge in volumes, while Tesla limped along with a pathetic 16% year-on-year decline. Analysts grimly predict that Tesla’s growth will stagnate in 2024 before plummeting in 2025, leaving investors questioning whether the tech mogul is more interested in stroking his ego than running a successful business. All this stellar performance kicked off ever since Musk decided to bet his money on Twitter and turn it into a full-time Trump cheerleading squad.
Brazil, fed up with the toxic content that Musk has failed to exorcise from X, has taken drastic action. The country’s Supreme Court has slammed the brakes on the platform nationwide, with Justice Alexandre de Moraes lambasting Musk for his “utter contempt for Brazilian sovereignty” and his audacious attempt to anoint X as “a veritable supranational entity, immune to the laws of any nation.”
Meanwhile, Musk has stooped to launching vicious attacks on Judge de Moraes with AI-generated images, likening him to the noseless villain Voldemort and even depicting his name on a roll of toilet paper. This spiteful behavior is straight out of the playbook of his similarly-childish puppet master, Donald Trump, and raises questions about Musk’s emotional maturity and capacity to lead (a kindergarten class, perhaps).
It’s becoming painfully evident that Musk’s all-consuming infatuation with Trump is dragging him down a treacherous path of self-annihilation. Trump’s infamous crusade to shred the fabric of federalism should be a glaring red flag to anyone with a functioning moral compass, but Musk remains steadfastly committed to shielding the would-be dictator and right-wing content on X from even the mildest rebuke.
Perhaps it’s high time for Musk to embark on that solo journey to Mars. Better still, he could drag Trump along for the ride, granting them both the chance to live out their megalomaniacal delusions on a faraway planet, light-years removed from the rest of civilized society. Maybe a Space Force mission could be useful, after all.