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‘She even helped you look’: Future career criminal of a toddler defies mom and dad to pull off the ultimate chocolate theft

"She didn't even hesitate."

TikTok screenshots via @con.lodge
Screenshots via TikTok

Often a young child displays signs of the kind of person they’re going to be even when they’re very young — they might show indications of creativity, for example, or a way with words or people. Alternatively, in the case of TikTok parents Conor and Jordan’s young daughter Calla, they might prove that they’re destined for a life of crime with their impeccable thievery and deception.

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The proud (if possibly concerned) parents decided to put the honesty and restraint of their tot to the test when they placed three chocolates in front of her, carefully explaining that only one belonged to her and the other two were theirs and that she shouldn’t eat them. With a camera in place, Conor and Jordan left the room to leave their toddler to either do as she was told, or indulge her instincts and scoff the chocs. What transpired was the work of a future career criminal.

It takes just five seconds for Calla to snatch her mom’s sweet and shovel it in her mouth as quickly as she can. When Conor and Jordan return, they feign surprise at the missing treat. Ingeniously, Calla attempts to confuse them by swiping up her own, thereby concealing which one in particular she ate, and claims it’s her chocolate that’s vanished. “Where is it? Is it on the floor?” Jordan asks, at which point Calla helps her mom search for the missing mouthful that she knows full well is in her stomach.

Conor and Jordan then leave Calla alone again for the second part of the test. This time around, like many criminals, she feels emboldened by the success of her first crime and can’t help but try and get away with it again. After saying the sweetest, butter-wouldn’t-melt “love you” to her dad, Calla wastes no time before munching down on another chocolate… Except this time Conor walks back in immediately to catch her in the act.

Calla may be fiendish beyond her years, but her adorable nature means TikTok is willing to testify in her defense. “I can confirm I saw a bird fly in and take the chocolate, Calla is innocent,” one commenter went under oath to say. Others feel that, if a life of crime doesn’t work out, Calla could be the next Meryl Streep: “Calla needs an Oscar for that performance.”

In the comments, Conor confirms that Calla is only 20 months old. In that case, we should be extra impressed/worried about Calla, as she is only half the age that experts say an infant first learns to lie. An essay on the emergence of lying in very young children from the National Library of Medicine notes that 42 months is widely agreed to be the age when infants become “increasingly capable of telling lies,” as this is when they begin to understand that their parents are not mind-readers and can be fallible. Calla, meanwhile, has worked this out before she’s even turned two. Mom and dad, I’m not sure if that merits congratulations, or commiseration.