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An unfortunate case of mistaken identity finds Dwayne Johnson convinced he’s stroking Taint

Mercifully, it's not as harrowing as it sounds.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - NOVEMBER 03: Dwayne Johnson arrives at L.A. LIVE on November 03, 2021 in Los Angeles, California.
Photo by Steve Granitz/FilmMagic

Anyone approaching middle age can be forgiven for their ears not working quite as well as they used to, so you can forgive 50 year-old Dwayne Johnson for a hilarious mix-up during a recent trip to the zoo.

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In what’s got to be one of the most accidentally concerning cases of mistaken identity we’ve come across in a long time, the actor and producer was happily stroking away at a lizard he was utterly convinced carried the unsavory moniker of Taint. After realizing his mistake, Johnson posted footage of the encounter on Instagram, where he remained adamant that poor Tank should stick with his brand new and highly inappropriate nomenclature.

When people are well within their rights to name their pets whatever they want, you can guarantee there are plenty of animals out there with more concerning names than Taint. Of course, that wouldn’t really fly at a family-family attraction like Honolulu Zoo, but maybe they could indulge in an official name change seeing as it’s been given the seal of approval by one of the biggest and most recognizable stars on the planet.

Whether he’s incorrectly getting his wires crossed in risque fashion, referring to his children’s guinea pigs as having the “crackhead zoomies,” or even threatening to eat them during his weekly cheat day, Johnson’s recent interactions with the animal kingdom have been nothing if not unusual, and we haven’t even mentioned the fact that Hawkman looks to have been cast onto the DCU scrapheap after James Gunn and Peter Safran decided that there was no room at the table for The Rock’s Man in Black and the rest of his Justice Society associates. For now, at least.