What’s the worst Valentine’s Day gift you can think of? A box of poop? Divorce papers? How about a personalized video from the world’s smartest man (sarcasm) Kevin Sorbo? Did you just throw up a little? You get a pass for that.
Sorbo apparently took some time off from his incredibly bad and misguided political takes to do what we all knew he wanted to do in the first place — get paid. Could it be possible that Sorbo’s so desperate for money and attention that he’s resorted to begging? How the mighty Hercules has fallen.
“Order that special person in your life a personalized video from me! Book now for Valentine’s Day,” he said in desperation. I can think of 100 things I would rather do than that, and that includes a colonoscopy.
Of course, by writing this, we’re just perpetuating Sorbo’s Z-level grasps at fame, but it’s too good to pass up a chance to dunk on him. That’s right, you too can get a personalized message from “Actor. Director. Producer. Author” and very pretentious person Kevin Sorbo for the low, low price of $52.50. $52.50?? Did he misplace the decimal?
You know what else you can get for $52.50? Five bottles of fart spray, which somehow smells less desperate than Sorbo’s cash grab. If you’re curious, Sorbo has a number of sample videos where he talks about fun things like not wearing a mask, home educating your kids and whatever other fun lib-hating activities he’s doing.
Still can’t get enough Sorbo? His website Sorbostudios.com lets you buy Sorbo straight-to-DVD classics like Bernie the Dolphin, Walking Tall: The Payback and Prairie Fever. Until next time Sorbomaniacs!