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Stephen King has 2 questions for you, and both are more important than ‘did Donald Trump fart in court again today?’

King's always asking the big questions.

WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 10: President Barack Obama presents author Stephen King with the 2014 National Medal of Arts at The White House on September 10, 2015 in Washington, DC.
Photo by Leigh Vogel/WireImage

As an epic trailer voiceover might put it… In a world where rampant idiocy reigns supreme, only one man can help repel the tides of stupidity. And his name is Stephen King.

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While Donald Trump perennially poisons social media with his every bone-headed thought — which are these days crossing the border from inane to the genuinely insane — at least we also have a man of words and wisdom like the acclaimed horror author to speak some sense into the world. King is always at the ready with one witty putdown for Trump and his malevolent MAGA cronies after another.

But, you know what, maybe the best way to hit back at Donald and his delegation of dimwits is simply to deprive them of that which they crave the most: attention. Perhaps we should all follow King’s latest example and simply ignore Team Trump’s existence and talk about the things that really matter in life, like music and literature?

For instance, King engaged the people of X in a worthwhile and non-toxic conversation for once when he asked his followers two important questions: the Rolling Stones or the Beatles? And which Agatha Christie novel is the best?

Regardless of whatever your answer to this question may be — personally speaking, it’s the Beatles hands-down and probably And Then There Were None — engaging in King’s conversation about culture is definitely a lot more intellectually and emotionally edifying than getting angry and despairing about Diaper Don all over again.

While those who oppose him absolutely do need to do all they can to keep The Living Tangerine out of power, it’s still important not to let him occupy all your mental real estate. Especially when our dreams of Trump’s real-life real estate getting repossessed were recently dashed.

So let’s leave the pig-eyed former president to wallow in his own filth — either literally or metaphorically, you choose — as he endures a criminal trial and follow King’s example by entertaining ourselves with classic music and books instead. Go and stream the Beatles documentary Let it Go or watch one of Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot movies. At least A Haunting in Venice will take your mind off the orange ghoul currently haunting the New York Supreme Court.

You’ll feel bigly better, I promise.