Prince Harry is rarely far from the headlines and, at least in the United Kingdom, the stories about him are almost always negative. His departure from life as an active member of the royal family and his ongoing campaign against press intrusion is seen as spitting in the face of the British establishment, and they will stop at nothing to bring him down.
But is there any real substance to the vitriol against Harry or is it just revenge because he won’t play their game? Let’s take a look back at Harry’s life and evaluate the very worst things he’s done.
We’ll be assigning each incident a numerical score and will repeat this process with the other prominent Royals to decide an ultimate ranking of the worst Royal. That’s almost certainly going to be Prince Andrew, but at least the number 2 place will be up for grabs!
8. Cheated on his exams
Prince Harry attended Eton College where, as a prominent member of the Royal Family, he received special treatment. According to a 2005 report in The Guardian this extended to his teachers helping him cheat on his A-Level art exam, to the point of one being told to write his answers for him.
His former teacher Sarah Forsythe told an employment tribunal in 2005 that she was “profoundly shocked” at being asked to do this and that “I was concerned that this was unethical and probably constituted cheating.”
This is a slap in the face of anyone who actually worked for that exam. However, in Harry’s defense it doesn’t seem he personally requested the assistance and we could put this down to teachers not wanting to be seen to have failed a member of the Royal family. Also, both Prince Harry and Eton College deny this ever happened. But then, they would, wouldn’t they?
Wrongdoing rating: 5/10
7. Got sent to heroin rehab
As far as we know Harry has never taken heroin, but he did indeed get sent to heroin rehab. When he was 16 a Royal aide smelled marijuana during a party Harry was having with friends at Highgrove and snitched to Harry’s dad, Prince Charles.
Charles went ballistic, ordering Harry to spend a day at the Featherstone Lodge rehab center that specializes in heroin addicts to try and scare him straight. Harry later spoke about this time in his life in his autobiography, explaining that was a “deeply unhappy” teenager.
But, let’s face it, on the scale of bad things you can do, smoking a little weed as a 16-year-old isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Wrongdoing rating: 2/10
6. Gave a photographer a bloody lip
Harry clearly blames the intrusive press for contributing to his mother’s death and has had a combative relationship with them his entire adult life. Things spilled over into violence in 2004 when a pack of paparazzi descended on Harry as he was leaving a nightclub in the early hours of the morning.
One photographer, Chris Uncle, claims he was deliberately attacked, saying:
“He lashed out and then deliberately pushed my camera into my face. The base of the camera struck me and cut my bottom lip. At the same time he was repeatedly saying, ‘Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just leave me alone?'”
We’re not going to shed too many tears for this photographer, though Harry’s side of the story is that he simply pushed the camera away and inadvertently injured the photographer.
Wrongdoing rating: 2/10
5. Shot a water buffalo in Argentina
Harry has long had links to animal conservation in Africa, a cause he seems genuinely passionate about. So it’s disappointing that in 2004 he took a trip to Argentina where he shot a water buffalo and posed with the carcass.
This took place at a private lodge owned by Count Claudio Zichy-Thyssen and Harry took part in a shooting party offering chances to blast stag, deer, antelope, boar, pumas, and various birds. Your individual moral mileage may vary on hunting for sport, but as far as we’re concerned paying to hurt animals for fun is pretty gross. A local newspaper said the animal’s head was being embalmed and shipped back to the UK, but it’s not known if this ever actually happened.
Wrongdoing rating: 6/10
4. Dressed up as a Nazi
The other entries on this list have some mitigating factors. Not this one! In 2005 Harry went to a “Colonials and Natives” themed costume party. The notion of rich British aristocrats swigging champagne while in costume as “natives” is already stomach-churning, but Harry took things one step further by arriving dressed as a Nazi.
Photos of Harry in the uniform were inevitably published to widespread criticism and he was dragged before Queen Elizabeth II for a very regal scolding. In Spare Harry called this “one of the biggest mistakes of my life” and apologized profusely.
But, interestingly, he may have been set up by his older brother. In Spare, Harry said “I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said.” And, after showing them the costume. “They both howled. Worse than Willy’s leotard outfit! Way more ridiculous!” Which, again, was the point.”
Whatever the case, he went to a costume party dressed as a Nazi. Don’t ever do that.
Wrongdoing rating: 7/10
3. Helped release a swarm of killer elephants
Harry has long been a fan of animal conservation, with elephants a particularly beloved animal (pachyderms even brought Harry and Meghan together). Anyhows, Harry was the president of conservation NGO African Parks, who assisted in transporting more than 260 elephants from Malawi’s Liwonde National Park to Kasungu National Park, a protected area 500km to the west.
The only wrinkle is that the confused elephants have started killing villagers, with a current known death toll of seven. Harry’s NGO African Parks has now ended its involvement with the elephant relocation program and, in any event, he was only indirectly involved with the particulars. African Parks also argues that they’ve helped reduce elephant deaths:
“In the five years prior to African Parks’ management of Liwonde in 2015, there were at least 50 recorded human fatalities surrounding the park, as a result of elephants leaving the park. This is in contrast to five human fatalities outside of the park in the last seven years since African Parks’ management.”
Wrongdoing rating: 3/10
2. Walked out on the Royal family
Once again the morality of this is in the eye of the beholder and, if we take him at his word, we can understand why Harry and Meghan flew the coop for Los Angeles. That said, we can also understand why many in the United Kingdom are a bit miffed, as Harry has essentially broken an informal deal.
As a Prince, Harry received the best education money can buy, a life of utter luxury, almost complete insulation from the consequences of his actions, and fawning respect from those who care about this kind of thing.
In return for paying for all that, the British people expect to get a working Royal. Harry would have paid back his debt by being an ambassador for the country overseas, raising the profile of the Royal family with extensive charity work in their name, and performing official functions like opening hospitals.
As such, from a certain perspective, he has stiffed the United Kingdom on the bill for his life by leaving. But, that said, we can still understand why he did it.
Wrongdoing rating: 2/10
1. Told us more than we needed to know about his junk
Harry’s 2023 autobiography Spare ruffled a lot of feathers and generated miles of column inches. But one of the most eyebrow-raising anecdotes in the book put Harry’s crown jewels front-and-center.
After confirming that he was circumcised, Harry detailed a 2011 charity trip to the North Pole, where he suffered “penile frostbite”. The wedding of William and Kate followed soon afterward and “It was becoming more of an issue by the day.” Harry then detailed the pain of doing the ceremony with an “ailing todger”.
On a subsequent polar trip, Harry revealed he’d had a “bespoke cock cushion” created to prevent this from ever happening again. Harry, buddy, please, TMI.
Wrongdoing rating: 3/10
Final rating
This gives Prince Harry an official Royal wrongness rating of 30/80, which isn’t too shabby. Next time we’ll move on to William. Can he pip his brother to take the throne as the most despicable Royal? Find out soon!