For a parent, there is no greater pain than that of losing a child. Unfortunately, celebrities are not immune to this type of tragedy. However, some artists find a way turn that unimaginable pain into art. Eric Clapton did it with “Tears in Heaven” in 1992 after his son Conor fell from a 53 story window. Christian rapper Tedashii also dealt with the loss of his son Chase in 2013. Here’s what happened.
Tedashii, if you’re unfamiliar, is the stage name of Texas born and based rapper Tedashii Lavoy Anderson. He was born in 1977, and is a well known Christian music artist and member of 116 Clique, a hip-hop collective. He’s known for his melodious, laid-back flow and tight production values to his music.
His music has appeared in Apple commercials and movies, notably Gran Turismo with the song “Get out of my Way.” His song “Gotta Live” shot straight to number one on the Billboard Christian Hot AC/CHR chart. His album Never Fold debuted at #8 on the Christian charts and his album Below Paradise made it all the way to #17 on the Billboard 200. His song “Dum Dum” has more than 16 million views on YouTube.
In 2013, Tedashii was an established artist with an even brighter future who was also scoring big in his personal life with a loving wife and a growing family with new 1-year-old son Chase. In March, he was flying back from a music event when he received that one phone call no one wants to get.
“I get a phone call on the plane and it was my wife letting me know what happened – my 1-year-old son had passed away. That weekend he was sick [but] seemed to be getting better … it sort of all came out of the blue,” Tedashii told the Christian Post.
According to God Reports, his son died from “a sickness the hospital couldn’t treat.” Tedashii said he started punching the wall and crying, and a “little old lady” rubbed his back and told him it was going to be okay. He called it “the worst day of my life.”
Tedashii succumbed to a deep depression. He couldn’t leave his bedroom or even eat, and it took a toll on his marriage as well. Eventually, he made his way back into the studio and the resulting album, Below Paradise, dealt candidly with the pain of that loss.
Songs like “Never Leave” and “Be With You” unfortunately chronicled his marriage troubles.
“[These songs] all open up my life to the world. The album is a journal over the last year of my life and each song depicts a moment in that year,” he said. “We were in counseling not just for marriage but for grieving and just learning how to live with this new normal … So that strain was definitely real and evident.”
“Dark Days And Darker Nights” dealt with substance abuse, and helped him realize the path he was on did not lead to anything good at all. He said he “could no longer work” his way through the sadness even though he tried his best to “run from the pain.” He found himself in some “dark places” but eventually found his faith again.
He said he was “forsaken, alone in a place of darkness” because he only chose to focus on “the good side of this life,” and that the “reality of being a Christian and suffering so harsh a thing was hard for me to grasp.”
He still had his wife and elder son to take care of, after all, and he knew that they were “depending on me.” He said his family wanted him to be “honest and true” to himself. A friend told him to fight for his marriage and try to work through the problems.
“[He] just encouraged me to make sure that when I am grieving to grieve with my bride and not just alone, ” he said. “We just fought to keep focused on what we vowed and then also the reality that I really am grateful to have you here with me going through this.”
He fully lost himself in his faith the way he did with substance abuse, and he started to finally heal. “God’s goodness isn’t predicated on our circumstances,” he said. He’s realized that the loss of Chase is “something we’ll live with for the rest of our lives.” In the meantime, he’ll keep moving forward.