He’s a successful comedian, writer, podcaster, and entertainment personality — with a couple deficiencies at his disposal — allow me to introduce you all to the one, the only, your cousin… Theo Von.
Never heard of him? Well, you certainly have now, so do yourself a favor and open up those head holes. Ears, they call ’em. Theo Von is one of the most original comedians currently working today, and is so unintentionally funny that his secret genius has been all but confirmed. Don’t believe me?
Watch a Theo Von YouTube highlight reel and tell me this dude isn’t operating on a different level. Seriously, I’ll wait. I sit around my kitchen and write articles all day. We both know I’ve got the time.
To be as comedically quick as Theo Von can be, as often as Theo Von can be is no easy feat, even for someone like him, and it’s clear that this guy has created his own unique brand of comedy.
Heck, who’s to say those aliens we’ve all been hearing about aren’t some of Theo’s long-lost relatives? Crazier things have happened. I mean, U.F.Os are real. Nothing is off the table.
How did Theo Von get famous?
Born Theodor Capitani “Theo” von Kurnatowski III — say that five times fast — Theo Von began his career as a contestant on the 2000s show Road Rules: Maximum Velocity Tour, an old MTV joint from back in the day. The Emmy nominated reality series followed six strangers between the ages of 18 and 24 as they traveled the country, completing various challenges for money. You know, that classic idea.
After his time on Road Rules, Von stuck with MTV and found himself choppin’ it up on another reality show — The Challenge, a game show where contestants here competed in extreme tasks to avoid elimination. Pretty straightforward stuff. Not-so-surprisingly, Theo did well, and wound up winning multiple seasons before his time on the show came to an overall end.
Sounds dumb? Give me a break folks, it was the frikken’ 2000s. We’re a couple bad years away from making the Hunger Games more than just a angsty young adult series. Be honest, if it aired after The Bachelor, you’d watch every single Monday with a bucket of popcorn. Now, where was I?
What has Theo Von been up to recently?
There’s only so much reality television anyone can put up with, and during his stint on MTV Theo took the top spot on Last Comic Standing, a 2006 online comedy competition — which helped start his career in stand-up. Using that newfound notoriety as a springboard, Von moved out to Los Angeles and began to take comedic opportunities as they came.
Von started hosting the popular Yahoo recap show Primetime in No Time in 2011, while simultaneously hosting the TBS hidden camera show Deal With It. He also made cameos on Inside Amy Schumer and Why? with Hannibal Buress, and yes, they’re as funny as you’re imagining them.
Along the way Theo popularized the practice of “crank texting” through his blog, wherein people shoot off random texts to random numbers in hopes of starting wacky conversations. What could go wrong?
Theo has since appeared on various talk shows, including: The Arsenio Hall Show, Hello Ross, Chelsea Lately, and more recently — Hot Ones, and Lights Out with David Spade. In 2016 Netflix released No offense, Theo Von’s debut hour-long special on the platform, followed up by Regular People in 2021.
Now, Theo runs one of the internet’s most popular podcasts, and has garnered a strange level TikTok fame in the process. Providing more sound bites than basically anyone in show business, Theo Von clips have become an everyday soundtrack to fans around the globe. Praise God, baby.
More than any of this though, he seems like an incredibly down to Earth dude — despite my earlier claims of extra terrestrial entanglement — and has somehow retained a refreshing amount of humility for someone as popular as he is. Call it luck, call it his Southern upbringing, for whatever reason Theo Von has managed to charm us all right down to our bones.
So if you have the time, check out This Past Weekend anywhere you get your pods and be good to yourself. Spread some kindness. Share a laugh. Eat a churro. Do whatever makes you happiest. Theo Von sure does, and believes you should too.