If you think this is a setup for a punchline, allow me to offer you a big, heaping spoonful of disappointment. Indeed, the question of what happened to the gentleman who thought it wise to hide a bag of snakes in his pants while trying to board a flight is one of genuine human interest at the moment.
Just under a week ago, a TSA spokesperson representing Florida took to Twitter / X to call attention to the idiosyncratic discovery in the man’s trousers, reassuring all the snake rights activists in the room that the legless critters were safely turned over to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.
So, we know the snakes are alright, but what of their would-be kidnapper?
What happened to the guy who tried to sneak a bag of snakes onto a plane in Miami?
At the time of writing, there doesn’t appear to be any information regarding the fate of the as-yet-unnamed man following the removal of the snakes from his pants. It’s also unclear what his motive was for trying to pull a stunt like this.
That said, one confident reply to the tweet claims that the breed of the snakes are juvenile Palmetto Corn snakes, which pose effectively no threat to humans whatsoever. That is, they can’t physically harm humans, but they can potentially do a bit of financial/social damage if they’re found in your pants as evidence of trafficking intent. Indeed, these snakes fetch between $400 and $500 as pets, so it’s no great leap of the imagination to think that he was trying to sell them; exactly how much trouble that landed him in, if any, is a mystery we may never solve.
You thought there was going to be a Samuel L. Jackson reference somewhere in here, didn’t you?