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Which Company Won E3 2014?

People say E3 isn’t supposed to be a competition. They say that it’s a chance for gamers to gather round their screens, rejoice that their hobby is alive and well, and see just what’s in store for them over the coming months. People also say that you’re supposed to drink a lot of water, but fish pee in there, so what do they know.

Nintendo

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Nintendo seems to be blissfully unaware that they’re coming in third for the console wars. No matter how bleak things may get, you can count on them to provide light hearted and fun gameplay, and usually a pretty interesting presentation. You can’t help but hope they’d fight just a bit harder for their position, but when they seem so content to dance to the beat of a different drummer, it’s hard to really fault them.

Chaz: Nintendo did everything I wanted them to do, outside of bringing a few franchises back from the dead, and they did it with that signature Nintendo charm that makes it impossible to not like them. There’s so much here that simply had me smiling. I mean, Hyrule Warriors! If you’re not excited about that game, you’ve outgrown video games. That is everything we have ever wanted. It’s Zelda, you’re thwarting hordes of enemies, they’re flying around from your sword, it’s everything we’ve ever known for video games. I mean, sure, the Robot Nintendo sketches were a little cheesy, but how can you NOT smile at this company. This is an actual sentence that was spoken on their conference. “How do you play with a pile of yarn or cloth? We thought about those things pretty hard.” Confirmed: Nintendo is run by cats.

Chad: I do like cats… Nintendo did pretty exactly what I expected them to. They didn’t go outside their box, and it was their normal stream. With that said, they didn’t disappoint me either. It was a solid presentation. They didn’t really introduce any new IPs though outside of Splatoon, which looks like a lot of fun but also has the opportunity to bomb pretty hard. Both of the new Zelda games are things I really want to play, and while I don’t usually like the Dynasty Warrior games outside of small spurts, this seems like something I could really get in to.

Chaz: I’m glad you brought up Splatoon, it’s EXACTLY the type of shooter that Nintendo would make. It’s cutesy, it’s quirky, and it’s adorable! And it lead to one of the best sentences that I have ever heard in my life, easily the best string of words to be used at E3 this year. “I lay down a lot of ink and make it hard.” That was not an accidental sentence, that was actually said on the air. That’s simply brilliant! It’s just adorable! I’m not sure I’ll play this game, but my soul is happy that it exists.

Chad: I’m not really concerned with the new Kirby game as I’m not interested in drawing lines with my Wii U gamepad. I just want an old school Kirby, but one that’s a bit more challenging than the last offering. That’s something that’s missing a bit, that sense of challenge. Prime example, Yoshi’s Wooly World is mixing a Yoshi game with a yarn game, neither of which are known to be all that hard. I don’t demand a Dark Souls level of challenge, but I want something that a 5 year old would at least have some difficulty with.

Chaz: I’m glad you mentioned Yoshi’s Wooly World. I’m a grown man, military veteran, long hair, I shave with an old school 1950’s razor and use a brush to lather my soap and I listen to death metal. But when I see a game featuring a yarn dinosaur, I apparently lose my shit. I need to play Yoshi’s Wooly World now. That looks so adorable, so much fun. I need that in my life immediately.

Chad: Kirby’s Epic Yarn was great, so if they can catch that lightning in a bottle again, I’m all for it. The other thing I’m worried about is the Amiibo part of Smash Bros. I’m just not sure I want to collect more things to get the full game experience.

Chaz: Amiibo, because simply creating a game that everyone in the world wants to play won’t make enough money to satisfy Reggie’s rage. I hate to think that I might need this to get the full experience, and what I REALLY hate about this idea is that I know I’ll buy it. I’m weak, I’m spineless, but if that’s the case I’m simply going to end up with a crap ton of these.

FINAL GRADE

Chad: And that pretty much wraps up Nintendo. What are your final thoughts?

Chaz: I’m happy with it. In fact, I’m very happy with it. They didn’t compete with the other companies, but they didn’t really TRY to compete. That’s simply not their thing. I wish they would try to compete a bit more, but they’re happy with this niche they’ve carved out. All in all, I think it’s a very solid B.

Chad: I have to give it the same score. They did a very good job, but they could have done better. They had a very clean presentation and showed off some cool games, but they played it safe. They need to get outside of the box more and stop relying on the same games and same characters. Those were great for the first 30 years, but it may not be enough to keep Nintendo alive.

So who won E3?….