Content advisory: Potential spoilers for The Marvels ahead.
The MCU’s The Marvels is on its way, and boy, does Disney seem intent on letting us know that there will be people besides the Marvels in it.
It goes beyond the movie’s final trailer, with its fleeting glimpses of purple arrows and meaningful glances at offscreen faces. Rumors have been hitting the internet hard and fast, claiming that the latest entry in the franchise will be bringing some universe-shattering cameos. The majority of the scuttlebutt is around the X-Men, Marvel’s last, best life preserver. Kelsey Grammer, the perfectly-cast, imperfectly-utilized Beast of the C-tier X-Men movies, is on the short list of characters said to appear during the film’s end credits. Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine is another. Patrick Stewart already shot his shot in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Halle Berry is probably busy.
Which brings us to our main point: Has anyone seen Anna Paquin lately?
That question again: Does anyone have eyes on Anna Paquin?
For three-ish entries in 20th Century Fox’s X-Men series, the True Blood star appeared as Rogue, the mutant mainstay with the ability to absorb other people’s abilities and memories through touch. Nerds will already know that Rogue never got her chance to shine in the movies, relegated mostly to distressing damsel gigs and being sad that she couldn’t give people kisses. Even bigger nerds will know why she never stepped up in the way that fans of the comics were hoping.
In the comics, Rogue has a whole mess of powers, including flight, invulnerability, and giant robot-flipping super strength. She landed these abilities in a scuffle with Carol Danvers, the future Captain Marvel. When Rogue made physical contact with Danvers for too long, she wound up stealing her abilities permanently, forcing Danvers to find new superpowers through a convoluted story involving giant bugs. It’s not really relevant.
What is relevant is the fact that Brie Larson has seemed about a quarter past done with the MCU for a while. If The Marvels’ marketing strategy – making it seem like this is her last hurrah – is to be believed, then launching Rogue into Earth-616 exposed-skin-first would be a great way to facilitate it. Anna Paquin hasn’t been doing much lately. She seems like an easy “get” for Disney.
So has anyone seen Anna Paquin lately? And if so, does she have a lot of white hairs these days? And if she does, are they suspiciously concentrated in the front of her head?