6. Transformers
Why it was good: The original Transformers was never high art, but what it lacked in subtlety it made up for in nostalgia, cutting-edge CGI and director Michael Bay’s sure hand when it came to unleashing a spectacle. Add in Shia LaBeouf before he became overexposed, some amusing segments as Optimus Prime and pals reveal themselves to humans (and of course plenty of transforming), and it’s pretty clear why it spawned sequels.
The turning point: “Punk-ass Decepticons” – that line mechanically uttered during one of the numerous, lifeless, metal-crunching set pieces was one of many tipping points during the 149-minutes of bloat that was Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Though I seem to be one of the first to spring to Bay’s defence when confronted with criticism, the man is clearly in desperate need of a strict editor.
Why it needs to die: Talk of a reboot of sorts, adding Jason Statham to the mix and courting a new director does little to quell the rising bile that stems from the thought of sitting through another Transformers instalment. That being said, what little spark the series possessed is now gone (along with its main villain) – replaced by monotony and indistinguishable smackdowns. I fear these robots won’t stay in disguise until every major city on Earth has been levelled, they run out of robots to kill off or Bumblebee accidently steps on Sam.