The Thing (2011)
Just like Rob Zombie’s Halloween, this version of the Carpenter classic serves as a remake/prequel, chronicling the events that unfolded at the Norwegian research camp before the original film. Their first problem was trying to take on the original Thing, which stands as a crowning achievement in the horror/sci-fi genre. It’s the equivalent of a pee-wee football team playing in the Super Bowl.
Every other problem stems from the lack of paranoia that pervaded the original, relying instead on cheesy jump scares that couldn’t even scare a toddler, let alone seasoned horror fans. Even in this article, it’s hard not to compare this inferior work to the original version, crippling the new version before it could even get out the door. If it were necessary to know every single detail of the Norwegian’s deaths, Carpenter would have included it.
It’s just another example of excess in the horror genre, when all that was needed was a proper atmosphere. Kurt Russell’s unkempt “look at how homeless I am” beard would have also helped a ton.