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8 Disappointing Movies That Should Have Been Great

Is there anything worse than being disappointed by a movie? Think of the ones you waited patiently and eagerly for, only to discover that everything you imagined in your head hadn't made it up onto the screen. Like, at all. There are certain movies that had the odds weighed against them from the very start, and we're not going to be dealing with those here: think George Lucas territory, what with The Phantom Menace and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. You willed them to be amazing, of course, but you knew the chances of success were on the lower end of the spectrum: in those cases, George Lucas is a generally lousy filmmaker, and the hype machine was in maximum overdrive.

8) Pacific Rim (2013) (Dir. Guillermo del Toro)

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What We Thought Before: Transformers meets Godzilla in a Guillermo del Toro movie. A film starring Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Charlie Day and Ron Perlman – that will surely guarantee high levels of awesome, no? Did I mention it also has Idris Elba in it?

What We Got: A movie so bad, it actually generates a palpable sense of shame at the excitement once felt while watching the trailer. Sure, the robots and monsters look awesome, but if that’s the extent of interesting stuff in your movie, you might want to extend those scenes a little bit and dispense with the half-hearted attempts at an actual plot. Oh, and, incidentally, in case any ladies out there were wondering – in this vision of the future, you play no part of any significance whatsoever.

I mean, sure, there’s Mako Mori (Kikuchi) – an effective fighter – but she’s so sensitive and delicate, thanks to a traumatic childhood experience, she has be removed from piloting a robot on her first run out. She manages to get over it in time to help with the final battle, but is literally ejected by a man before the end. According to this film, she can’t even speak to another woman. Why? Because there are no other women whose roles require them to speak more than a couple of words. We must give credit where credit is due, though. There are a few women in this 21st century film – in the crowd scene, right at the back – if you pause it, and squint.

What They Should Have Done: They should have employed radical concepts of modern cinema – such as plot, structure and people that aren’t men.

Redeeming Features: Apart from having Idris Elba in it, there is a moment – right in the middle of all the tedium – when we are suddenly transported to what feels like an actual Guillermo del Toro film. Mako Mori (Kikuchi) relives the childhood memory of being attacked by a Kaiju (monster), and being saved by a Jaeger (robot), piloted by Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba).

This sequence – though only a few minutes long – serves to remind us whose work we are watching. It is a beautifully presented episode that, in and of itself, builds perfect dramatic tension and resonates with the audience on a deep emotional level. It is the stunning, yet tiny, diamond in a whole heap of rough. But then, as quickly as it appeared, it is gone, and we are slammed back into a messy, directionless vat of testosterone – filled with disposable and forgettable characters.