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A $185 million exercise in weapons-grade banality digs in deep on a pair of major streaming services

So inoffensively mediocre and forgettable that it becomes offensive.

the legend of tarzan
via Warner Bros.

Proving once again that it has no clue what the people want to see, Sony was pilloried for announcing plans for an entire shared universe built around Edgar Rice Burroughs’ legendary vine-swinging pulp hero, which came only a few short years after Warner Bros.’ The Legend of Tarzan turned out to be one of the most forgettable blockbusters of the decade.

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Despite boasting effects-heavy veteran and Harry Potter regular David Yates behind the camera to try and wrangle a mammoth $185 million historical adventure into serviceable shape, the single most damning thing you can say about the sweeping epic is that it’s most certainly a motion picture that was made, released, and continues to exist, but that’s about it.

the legend of tarzan
via Warner Bros.

It didn’t flop after netting $356 million at the global box office, nor was it resoundingly panned as a Rotten Tomatoes score of 35 percent can attest, alongside an audience approval rating of 58 percent. It’s just kind of there, floating along as a solidly unspectacular slab of weapons-grade Hollywood entertainment that took an iconic protagonist and an A-grade ensemble cast, only to deliver the definition of “meh.”

Then again, splashy spectaculars chock full of recognizable stars are a surefire hit on streaming, with The Legend of Tarzan in the midst of clambering towards the upper echelons of two of the biggest platform’s in the business. Per FlixPatrol, not only has it been beating its chest on Netflix’s global rankings, but it’s also the fifth top-viewed feature on Prime Video after breaching the Top 10 in 19 nations.