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An anemic horror remake bays for lukewarm blood on the streaming charts

Buckets of blood, but not much else.

carrie
via Sony

Hollywood’s insistence that every recognizable horror property under the sun be subjected to a remake always meant that a new version of Carrie was inevitable, but even then, the 2013 adaptation of the Stephen King classic that was previously turned into an all-timer by Brian De Palma managed to disappoint.

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The combination of Boys Don’t Cry and Stop-Loss director Kimberly Peirce at the helm, fast-rising and massively talented star ChloĆ« Grace Moretz in the lead role, and an eclectic mix of young and established talent filling out the supporting cast that included Julianne Moore, Judy Greer, and Ansel Elgort ensured that there were many reasons to be optimistic about Carrie V2.0.

carrie
via Sony

In the end, though, it fell into the same trap as many of its spiritual peers by failing to justify its own existence, instead content to operate as an inferior facsimile of the original, as opposed to a fresh and vibrant film that told its own story. Remakes gonna remake, then, but Carrie suffered from tepid reviews as a result of singing note-for-note from a much better playbook.

However, horror can always be leaned upon to drum up support on streaming, with fans eager to wrap their eyeballs around the bloodbath all over again. As per FlixPatrol, Carrie has telekenetically torn up the Prime Video most-watched rankings, almost a decade after underwhelming just about everyone.

Not exactly a prom night classic, but evidently still enticing enough to convince subscribers to Amazon’s platform that it’s worth a breezy 99 minutes of their time.