The words “bear” and “cocaine” are fairly innocuous on their own (more the former than the latter), but put them together and you get something special. Cocaine Bear. It just rolls off the tongue. While you might assume the movie’s about the inner workings of a gay bar, it is much more literal. There’s a bear. He does cocaine. Mayhem ensues. Now we’re learning he’s coming back for more.
Someone shared a message purportedly from a movie theater after the end credits of the film. “Cocaine Bear Will Return.” Cocaine Bear will return? This begs so many questions. Is Cocaine Bear the Iron Man of a brand-new cinematic universe? Is this the start of a brand-new franchise that will feature all sorts of other coked-up animals?
Maybe we’ll be seeing something like cocaine animal avengers in the near future. Here’s hoping we get to see Cocaine Butterfly at some point. The possibilities are endless!
People have some fun things to say about all this. Here’s a suggestion for the sequel:
If there was a cinematic universe in the coked-out animal world, what would it be called?
The CCU does have a nice ring to it. Other people were more concerned about the bear’s health.
Even Elon Musk chimed in! (Yes, I know that’s not the real Musk).
Cocaine Bear was directed by Elizabeth Banks (yes, that Elizabeth Banks), and it tells the story of well, a bear that does cocaine. The true tale behind the story is that in the Chattahoochee National Forest in north Georgia a bear did actually find a duffel bag filled with 75 pounds of the powdery substance and did indeed eat some, although it’s not known how much.
Also, yes, it was enough cocaine to take down a bear because that poor guy, who only weighed 175 pounds, died about 20 minutes after ingesting the drug. That’s where fact and fiction diverge. In the movie, instead of its heart immediately seizing, it went on a “coke-fueled rampage,” which sounds very fun.
The movie also features one of our favorite character actors: Margo Martindale, who is 70 years old and never thought she’d be starring in an action movie this late in her career. Martindale plays a no-nonsense Forest Ranger in a movie that’s based on nonsense, so that will be interesting regardless.
Whether or not it’s a true story is immaterial. The truth is that we could be in the nascent stages of a brand-new universe. Imagine the possibilities. Cocaine Bear in the Multiverse of Cocaine. Just spitballing here.
Cocaine Bear is in theaters today.