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How To Fake Being An Expert On The 9 Movies That Matter At This Year’s Oscars

It’s that time of year again, when movies that got released months ago undertake a marketing blitz, media prognosticators come out of the woodwork, and the mound of sloughing flesh once known as Billy Crystal checks its shadow, to see whether or not it needs to rent a tux. Yes, it’s the final countdown to the 85th annual Academy Awards, AKA the Oscars. It's Hollywood’s biggest night. Our eyes will be locked on the stars, and theirs will be gazing at the industry’s collective navel. The winners walk home with golden doorstops; the losers take comfort in knowing that the same demographic doing the voting is also responsible for letting a spin-off, of a spin-off, of a spin-off of JAG become an actual thing.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

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–By the Numbers:

  • 4: Nominations
  • 86, 86: Rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and Metacritic
  • 12: Millions of dollars earned at the domestic box office (no foreign release)
  • 401: Days between the film’s premiere at Sundance, and the Oscars ceremony

–Major Contender for: Nothing. At best, a dark horse for Best Director, and Adapted Screenplay.

–Success on the Awards Circuit: A powerhouse among “Best Breakthrough” awards for acting and directing, including the Caméra d’Or at Cannes.

–Synopsis: Five year-old Hushpuppy contends with the aftermath of a catastrophic Louisiana storm, and the failing health of her fierce father. The film combines ethnographic exploration of a bayou community with a magical realist take on climate change, creating imagery and prose that’s both natural, and otherworldly. The film marks the debut for first time director Behn Zeitland, and newcomer Quvenzhané (kwa-van-je-nay) Wallis as Hushpuppy.

–Oscar-appropriate Themes: Family, coming of age, climate change

–Juiciest Piece of Oscar Bait: Features an absolutely phenomenal lead performance from a Wallis, who was five years old when shooting the film.

–Buzz Going into the Oscars: 1/10. The film made a gigantic splash at Sundance, but that was more than a year ago. Like Amour, Beasts is always in the conversation when discussing the best of the year, but is rarely championed by the big awards circles. It’s the Argo of the art house, without the 4th quarter rally of support, a film critics love to nominate, but not actually reward.

–Trivia Tidbit: A counterpoint to Riva, Quvenzhané Wallis is the youngest ever nominee for the Best Actress award. 9 at the time of the nomination, she was 4 years younger than previous nominee Kiesha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider), and less than half the age of Jennifer Lawrence at the time of her first nomination (Winter’s Bone).

–Talking Points if Your Crowd Loves it: The visionary work from first-time director Behn Zeitland gives the film a poetry and lyricism you won’t find in any of the other nominees, which is exactly why it won’t win. That’s okay though; after all, a charming little movie like this getting accepted by the Hollywood monolith seems a bit antithetical to what makes Beasts special. Wallis is a revelation, so here’s hoping she and Zeitland have big careers ahead of them.

–Talking Points if Your Crowd Hates it: There’s not really a movie here, just a medley of pretty sights, and sounds. As for Wallis: performances by child actors tend to be pretty divisive. It won’t be that hard to pitch people on her being hugely overrated, getting attention for her age, not her actual acting ability.

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