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Holy Sh…ark! The 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2014

Every year I joke about how quickly time passes, as I can still vividly remember exclaiming how Dracula 3D would undoubtedly be the worst horror film I'd see in ages, but here we are at the end of 2014, agonizing over what could be one of the worst year-end recaps I've had to write since joining We Got This Covered. There were some very good horror movies released this year, but where I only awarded a single 1-star review last year, 2014 saw three in the horror genre alone. Seriously. Dracula 3D was last year's stinkiest turd sandwich, but this year offered three different efforts that left me begging for salvation.

6) Voodoo Possession

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I mean, what could go wrong here – Danny Trejo’s name is on the poster! Yes, you’re correct in assuming that’s sarcasm, because you’re currently reading about my least favorite horror films of the year. While I love Trejo and think he’s one of Hollywood’s greatest badasses, smaller-budget movies have been exploiting his ability to never turn down a gig as false advertising and nothing but cheap lies. Trejo’s inclusion in Voodoo Posession is nothing but cut-in clips of him reading about voodoo curses, while the rest of the film thinks there’s something terrifying about crayons.

The voodoo mentalities provide different realms for characters to explore (aka different sets of industrial basements), there’s a SyFy-quality creature, and stupid characters we can’t manage to care about – everything that makes a horror movie oh-so-interesting (pure snark, yes). The story is wafer-thin, and it crumbles as characters continue to pass dimensions with little to no explanations, but what’s worst of all is there isn’t a damn thing to fear. Nope, that’s not horror.

Here. Here are words I already formulated about The Possession Of Danny Trejo (SOMEONE MAKE THAT):

The only thing separating Boholst’s film from every other weakly constructed possession story is some chanting, a few funky markings, some face paint, and flashy cultist jewelry – none of which demand horror respect.