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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Mainstream Horror Nightmares – And Not The Good Kind

After struggling through I, Frankenstein not too long ago, this week's article topic was an easy one for me to come up with - mainstream horror moments that make Nato and Remy very sad pandas. Seriously - did any of you see I, Frankenstein? Sure, there were some decently entertaining fight sequences between gargoyles, demons, and a studly Frankenstein, but at the expense of character development, storyboarding, and proper atmosphere design that couldn't even establish a hustling and bustling city. What kind of city has zero residents besides living gargoyles and shapeshifting demons?

Nato – Devil’s Due

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Please excuse me, for I’m still recovering from Devil’s Due (after jumping the gun and voicing my excitement). Not because it terrified me into a horrific coma, no no, but because Lindsay Devlin’s devilish baby mama story put me into a sleep-induced coma. Ever wonder what would happen if one of your family home videos ended randomly with a cult killing? I’ll tell you what – an hour and twenty minutes worth of boredom, and then ten minutes that would leave your brain in a puzzled, disappointed state. If you’ve yet to see Devil’s Due, please note some spoilers will follow…

…like right here. I mean, for a film that talks about the birth of a demon baby, there was a serious lack of demon baby action – as in none at all. It’s just a regular, skin covered baby. No horns, no tail, no hooves, no breathing fire – there was such an ingenious opportunity worth taking advantage of, giving horror fans an evil Devil baby rampage finale, but all we got instead was a lame criminal mystery and some destroyed furniture.

Even worse is that my love for Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett (part of Radio Silence) didn’t live up to their V/H/S short film “10/31/98” – but I don’t see this as their fault. Nothing about Devil’s Due pleaded for the brilliant visual trickery. Few moments let our directors run wild with their imaginations – two short scenes in fact. One sees a camera-holding teenager run into our pregnant mama partaking in a non-motherly activity, so she uses some Sith force-push action to throw the cameraman into the air, and slam him down on a car – pure awesomeness. The rest? People in hoodies looking creepy, broken doors, and lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of talking. Blah blah blah – get to the demon baby point!

Alas, with no demon baby, and limitless boredom, Devil’s Due should have been – actually, not even I can go there.