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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Mainstream Horror Nightmares – And Not The Good Kind

After struggling through I, Frankenstein not too long ago, this week's article topic was an easy one for me to come up with - mainstream horror moments that make Nato and Remy very sad pandas. Seriously - did any of you see I, Frankenstein? Sure, there were some decently entertaining fight sequences between gargoyles, demons, and a studly Frankenstein, but at the expense of character development, storyboarding, and proper atmosphere design that couldn't even establish a hustling and bustling city. What kind of city has zero residents besides living gargoyles and shapeshifting demons?

Remy – The Devil Inside

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devil-inside

You know what Hollywood? You need to stop with the possession movies. There were two movies in the seventies/eighties that nailed (pun intended) the genre – Evil Dead and The Exorcist. Everything that has come out and dealt with demonic possession post that (with The Exorcism of Emily Rose being the ONE exception) has been absolute shit. Although The Last Exorcism Part II is just as bad as this film, I have to go with The Devil Inside if for no other reason than the movie ENDS WITH A LINK TO A WEBSITE. The movie has no ending, and has the audacity to end with a link on screen, telling you to go to their website if you want to know how it all ended.

Seriously, in all of cinema, no single choice that has ever been made has been as poor as this choice.

Also, let it be known – I don’t know ONE SINGLE PERSON who went to the website. Not even one. Sorry I keep yelling, but I hate this movie so much, it actually fills me with rage. I hate this movie so much, I wonder if I am possessed by Satan. It’s THAT scary an amount of hatred.

You know what I’m sick of? Actresses getting hired to jump about and stick their tongues out and yell sexual things to convey a force of evil inside them. It ALL seems like acting to me, and it all is rather embarrassing.

I also feel the need to tell you “this woman might be possessed?” is no longer a solid plot for a movie. There just needs to be something more. Maybe if the central actress is damn good, it can work, but The Devil Inside proves just how far off the rails these movies can get.

Awful. I take sweaty poos scarier than that film. Hell, that very idea is scarier than any film on this entire list.

You’re welcome, AND I’m sorry for that.