Nato – Texas Chainsaw 3D
I’m still confused by Texas Chainsaw 3D because so many people think this prequel/sequel/reboot (call it whatever the hell you want) paid proper tribute to the classic slasher films of the iconic 1980s, and provided ample amounts of fun. Right. So a movie that sends Leatherface running angrily into a crowded fairground, complete with games of chance and massive rides, only to have him run away scared and not covered in blood – that’s the movie that harkens back to slasher films of old? Um, have we been watching the same movies?
Brainless doesn’t even begin to describe Texas Chainsaw 3D, which perfectly happy with snatching some hard-bodied sexypants characters (including goddess Alexandra Daddario) and offing them one by one in equally disappointing ways. Hmm, should I open the big, out-of-place door and see what’s inside? Of course! Oh no, Leatherface is chasing me, I sure hope I don’t lose control of basic motor functions and trip over even the smallest twig numerous times! Hey, why is my boyfriend coming out of the barn with no shirt on, joined by my best friend? Probably having a tickle fight is all!
Oh, and then Leatherface’s soft side comes out – and this is where I stop before launching into a 1,000 word rant.
Good day, Texas Chainsaw 3D.