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Sorry, Ryan and Hugh: Monkeys, dragons, squirrels, and Dave Bautista unite to defeat Deadpool and Van Helsing on streaming

Lots and lots of monkeys, at that.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JULY 22: Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are seen at "Good Morning America" on July 22, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images

Let’s face it; streaming services are primarily the places that people go to for poorly-crafted background noise in the form of uninspired actioners, tepid erotic thrillers, or overly-commercialized rom-coms. It’s a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless.

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But often enough, these readily-available film libraries are also the drop-zone for prominent blockbusters that are gearing up for a second life, and they’ll fight to death to earn that, even if Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman—the joint kings of the box office at the moment thanks to Deadpool & Wolverine—are among the casualties.

Deadpool and Wolverine
Photo via Marvel Studios

Per FlixPatrol‘s scores for Aug. 7, the Jackman-led Van Helsing is no match for Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire‘s explosive reign atop the worldwide Max film rankings. Reynolds, meanwhile, has failed to fend off one Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes with his pair of prior Deadpool movies, and the Wes Ball-directed continuation of one of the greatest modern sci-fi franchises has summited the Disney Plus worldwide film rankings as a result.

The Deadpool & Wolverine woes don’t end there, however, as Henry Cavill’s The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare has narrowly lost out to Dave Bautista’s My Spy: The Eternal City in the realm of Prime Video’s worldwide film rankings. Cavill, of course, cameoed as a Wolverine variant in the MCU money magnet, and if a great many comic book movie fans have their way, it won’t be the last we see of “Cavillrine.”

And even Sandy Cheeks of SpongeBob SquarePants fame got her licks in, with the Netflix original Saving Bikini Bottom: The Sandy Cheeks Movie dominating the streamer’s worldwide film charts, leaving Reynolds’ The Hitman’s Bodyguard in the dust at ninth place.

Indeed, the Deadpool & Wolverine talent may be set to cross a billion dollars at the box office this weekend, but on streaming, the day belongs to a pair of 2024’s most charming blockbusters, and two other movies who have yet to justify their existence outside of this little tango.