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Whatever Goes To Hell, Stays In Hell: The 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2013

My list is pretty varied this year, containing reboots gone awry, sequels that aren't really sequels, independent films that forget to be creative, mainstream flops, and novel adaptations with the worst of intentions. There wasn't one finger to point, but multiple fingers pointing in all different directions, including at one of the most iconic horror directors to come out of the Giallo era of Italian horror filmmaking. Don't define 2013 by these duds, as there are PLENTY of horror movies I'm going to be praising unconditionally, but just do yourself a favor and don't become another victim claimed by these grueling headaches.

12) World War Z

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Surprisingly, I actually gave the mainstream horror movement a lot of credit this year – except for World War Z. The biggest injustice done to the horror genre had to be teasing fans by optioning Max Brooks’ far superior novel, ignoring everything that made his socio-political story so brilliant, and delivering some hack-job story that did absolutely nothing to advance the horror genre. Take Brad Pitt, throw him in Hell, CGI some super-freak zombies, add a little product placement, and boom – you’ve got a zombie snoozer that’s nothing but hollow, empty, big-budget effects.

Pitt’s character Gerry Lane is a borderline superhero, prancing about the globe on a quest to solve the zombie epidemic while sustaining a multitude of injuries that should have put him down. How could they do that to the film’s protagonist, though?! Patch him up and get him back in action, there are zombies afoot! All the realism and grounded sincerity from Brooks’ book vanishes along with respectability once it becomes painfully evident that Gerry Lane can do no wrong, making the rest of the film feel like a simple formality.

Mix all that tomfoolery with true boredom, a dreadful misconception about fast zombies being inherently scary, more epic plot holes, a re-shot ending featuring one of the absolute worst sequences in horror history (Pitt taking a commercial-grade swig from a nice soft drink), and cinematic deceit – still sound like the adrenaline rush film you’re expecting?

World War Z was actually received with open arms by a solid collection of critics, but I couldn’t stop myself from leaving my screening in an underwhelmed state of agony. Chalk up another loss for the zombie genre!