Blame the yearning of young hearts, folly’s enthusiastic embrace, or just plain old misinterpretation of the facts, but a blast of cold heart fact has arrived to rain on our collective parade. Tom Hiddleston is not the definite certainty to portray Eric Draven in The Crow remake that we all thought he was. Apparently it was a rumour that got out of control after an innocent conversation, which happened to involve a make-up test and a flight to LA for further make-up tests, as innocent conversations are wont to do.
Like all mindless predators, the fickle audience has changed tack and began to speculate which other young, handsome actors may contain grim and unfathomable depths that could be drawn upon to portray the leather-coated one. The potential castlist of handsome young Hollywood men that has plagued the film since its very inception reads like a Taylor Swift dance card (hiyoo!!!); Mark Wahlberg, Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper, James McAvoy, and now Tom Hiddleston, leaving misguided teenagers wondering aloud over their cereal, “Just who will it be?”
Well, it may well be Alexander Skarsgard, of True Blood fame. It’s all shoulda, woulda, coulda, because the more random names they throw out, the more people on the internet talk, and the more people on the internet talk the more buzz they get, and the more buzz they get the more likely it is that they will persuade The Man to fund the movie, which won’t be half as good as the not-great original.
Since the reboot of Tarzan that he was due to star in was put on hold, Deadline have somehow got the idea that the role is Skarsgard’s if he wants it, which would obviously sit well with international terrorists Warner Bros. But is this just mindless speculation? Probably. We should start our own rumour, because apparently that is the air that this film breathes. Hey, did you hear that Jon Lovitz is the favourite to play Eric Draven in The Crow remake? Wow, Jon Lovitz, that’ll really be something to see. Jon Lovitz. Jon Lovitz. Jon Lovitz.