Anyone who’s even dipped a toe into the MCU fandom will know that outlandish theories stretched over very flimsy evidence are ten a penny. Some of the more bonkers ones range from Thanos being a corrupted future version of Steve Rogers, that Bruce Banner in Infinity War was Loki in disguise (explaining why he couldn’t Hulk out), and that the entire MCU actually is a post-House of M timeline that’s had mutants removed from it.
Somehow, there’s a new contender for the most bizarre on the block. And it involves… watercress. Stay with us here, because this one’s a doozy:
Okay, so let’s break this down. Secret Wars is an anagram of watercress, an aquatic plant. Namor is an aquatic hero. Watercress is also a vegetable. Both Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart’s diets allow them to consume watercress. Therefore, Secret Wars will see McKellen and Stewart return as Magneto and Professor X for a “graphic scene of Namor being eaten by them both”.
And, naturally:
“These events leave the door open to the launch of Phase 7 and the third saga which will be dominated by the battle between a resurrected Namor and the elder mutants/cannibals Xavier and Magneto. They will be played on screen by Eddie Murphy and one of the actresses from Barbie after Stewart and McKellen are fired when several old Tweets are released containing disparaging remarks they both made about Judi Dench when they saw her in a Mansfield Wetherspoons in 2012.”
Honestly? It’s about as plausible as some of the other truly bizarre theories we’ve heard from the MCU fandom, and this one at least has the bonus of being funny. Even though some of the more wishful thinking from over-enthusiastic fans sometimes has us cringing, a solid crop of theories at least demonstrates that a community is healthy, engaged with the stories, and eager to see what happens next.
And hey, Namor has to return at some point. Maybe he’s going to be involved in some manner of watercress-style caper when he does?