Alex – It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Okay, I’m aware that it may be cheating a tad to deviate from film and go to TV for this throwdown, and it may also defeat the purpose to choose a sex scene that was purposefully unsexy, but I’ve got to go with the scene from Lethal Weapon 5 (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia) between Chief Lazarus (Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito) and the hot blonde that he keeps on his arm.
Talk about scarring me for life. I’m sorry, seeing Danny DeVito without a shirt is enough to make me question whether I’d ever be able to look at the human body the same way again, but the face he makes when he’s about to um… finish, is absolutely disgusting. Like seriously, if that doesn’t turn you off to sex, there’s something seriously wrong with you.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has had its fair share of unsexy sex scenes. Whether it’s Dennis forcefully pushing a woman down onto him, the waitress banging Frank to get back at Dennis, or Mac banging a tranny, the writers of this show seriously don’t want their viewers to ever be aroused again, but none of them are as bad as the clip from Lethal Weapon 5.
The worst part of the scene was the fact that it’s their take on a Lethal Weapon sex scene, and Lethal Weapon 2 has one of the greatest sex scenes ever (Patsy Kensit is a definite 10 in my book). When the blonde tells Frank that he needs to hurry up and finish already, that marked the first time in my life that I was actually rooting for a short, fat, bald man to finish, a desire I had hoped to never have, and that was just so I’d be done having to watch this scene.
That scene lasts 35 seconds, and I can safely say that was the longest 35 seconds of my life. Congrats Sunny Gang, you crafted the unsexiest sex scene of all time.