K-pop’s exponential growth in popularity was a long time coming. Propelled by the likes of BTS and BLACKPINK, who solidified the globalization of the genre started in the Hallyu Wave, K-Pop is an undeniable phenomenon, known for both the best and worst of reasons.
Possibly one of the most unfortunate realities that the general public grasps, and just so happens to be correct, is that the K-Pop world is relentlessly toxic and downright unfair to its idols. From unrealistic body expectations to extreme diets, and even a record-breaking streak of overworked idols whose careers are forced to end prematurely, it’s almost heartbreaking to see what idols are put through.
Recently, evidence of these absurd expectations surfaced in the form of a letter by the girl group idol Karina from Aespa, who felt compelled to apologize for dating. Who? Well, it doesn’t matter. Dating is a taboo subject among idols and K-pop fans, and here’s why.
Can K-pop idols date?
Long story short, yes, many K-pop idols are indeed allowed to date, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. For many companies, dating is entirely forbidden. JYP, for instance, has a strict rule banning idols from dating in the first three years of their debut. This is to ensure that idols are fully focused on their work, without any distractions that could potentially jeopardize the investment the company has made in them.
Other companies like P Nation, HYBE, or YG Entertainment, don’t necessarily appear to encourage their idols to date; however, many celebrities under these labels have publicly announced relationships with little to no reaction from their companies. While for us foreigners and Westerners, dating might seem like such a trivial activity that no adult would ever consider not doing it for the sake of their job, in South Korea, it’s an entirely different story.
Why do idols have dating bans?
Many companies implement a dating ban due to the widespread belief that idols should prioritize fulfilling their obligations to the company and, essentially, remain faithful to their fans. In 2019, the YouTube duo DKDKTV asked several fans on the streets of Seoul whether or not they would continue to support their favorite idols if they dated another idol. Shockingly, the large majority of them claimed that it was disrespectful for idols to date altogether.
“I’d feel like something that’s mine was taken away from me,” said one interviewee. This goes to show that the reasoning behind this belief stems from the expectation among many South Korean K-pop fans that their favorite celebrities should be wholly devoted to them and themselves alone. This devotion, in the eyes of Korean fans, should manifest in the idol remaining single throughout their career and, essentially, not disrespecting the fans who invest their time and money in supporting them.
Ultimately, this belief serves as an excuse for many fans to maintain the fantasy that perhaps one day, they could be the ones who capture their favorite idol’s heart in some alternate universe. It’s not even AO3; this is straight-up Wattpad material at this point. And it would be funny if it wasn’t at the expense of the idol’s mental health.
Why did Karina apologize?
In an Instagram post, Karina from Aespa shared a hand-written letter apologizing about dating actor Lee Jae-wook. Many media outlets and fans considered this apology an entire debacle, deeming SM Entertainment a “national embarrassment,” for ultimately fueling the idea that idols aren’t allowed to have relationships. In the letter, Karina, 24, apologized for dating Jae-wook, 26, admitting that she’s reflected on her actions, alongside with the ptomise that she would become more “mature.”
Thankfully, a large majority of fans (Korean and otherwise), simply criticized SM on social media for their outdated and conservative views, defending Karina in the process. While this was issued on Karina’s personal Instagram, it is very unlikely that she made the unilateral decision to apologize in the first place. Ultimately, the consensus among fans is the belief that the response was made in close consultation with SM Entertainment.
Moreover, several South Korean outlets are using certain words that hold a negative connotation when depicting the occurrences in this situation. Words like “crisis,” and “scandal,” were often used throughout Korean media concerning Karina’s relationship with Jae-wook, with many fans believing these words are only spreading a negative light on their relationship.
Which companies have dating bans?
While very few companies openly acknowledge their bans on dating, JYP requires its idols not to date for the first three years of their contract. Similarly, we also know that CUBE does not take kindly to idols dating each other, as both HyunA and PENTAGON’s Dawn had their contracts terminated upon announcing their relationship, and SM appears to have been allegedly involved in Karina’s apology.
On the other hand, HYBE, P-Nation and YG don’t seem to be nearly cautious — or at least, not to our knowledge. Several members of the most popular K-pop groups, including BLACKPINK, BTS, and EXO, have had their fair share of “dating scandals,” — the weaponized term used for when an idol is dating another idol.
Once the idols are in a relationship, either they have fans’ undying support, or their partners remain anonymous throughout their careers — as it seems to be the case for BTS, whether by their own choice, or HYBE’s involvement. Nonetheless, with more and more idols like BLACKPINK’s Jennie and Jisoo admitting to having relationships at the height of their career, many fans believed dating was normalized at long last — only for Karina’s situation to throw us off the ground.
Hopefully, this entire debacle will prove to companies that perhaps they would benefit from having openly content idols, rather than continuously depriving them of openness in their relationships due to society’s delusions.