What is the worst possible thing that could happen to Donald Trump? I think many of his critics out there could probably entertain themselves imagining some of them, but for the man himself it’s apparently being told to shut the hell up.
Thanks to his constant disparaging comments about key personnel to do with his hush-money trial on social media, Trump has been infamously slapped with a gag order, which could see him thrown in jail if he continues to break it. For the orange Lorax offspring himself, being the subject of a criminal trial in the first place is nowhere near as demoralizing as being forbidden from yapping all kinds of inane nonsense about it online.
The GOPfather took to Truth Social (aka Twitter without a conscience — no, wait, that’s just Elon Musk’s Twitter) to vent his frustrations on May 8. “It is a really bad feeling to have your Constitutional Right to Free Speech, such a big part of life in our Country, so unfairly taken from you,” Trump whines, before growing more unhinged and incoherent from there.
I’ll spare myself the chore of repeating the full thing, as you can read the above image if you have the stomach for it, but one highlight includes blasting the judge who could send him down as “Corrupt and Highly Conflicted,” which seems like a super-smart thing to do. Also, Trump accusing his enemies of having a “Fascist mindset” is a bit like Adolf Hitler mocking someone else’s mustache.
My personal favorite line, though? “It is a sophisticated hit job on Crooked Biden’s Political Opponent, ME!” The desperation inherent in those words is palpable — it’s like he’s trying to convince us that he’s still an actual bonafide politician and not just someone with impulse control issues whose past crimes are coming back to bite him on the diapered derriere.
The muddled missive ends with a string of meaningless jingoistic phrases typed in all caps, which give off the impression that he was screaming them as he was hauled out of the court in a straight-jacket. Sadly, that hasn’t actually happened yet but give it time. This trial is going to drag on and on, so there’s plenty of space for Trump to keep digging his own grave, or write his own sentence, one bizarre utterance at a time.