It is not easy to make a t-shirt about politics funny. For every 1,000 attempts at humor you see, probably 999 of them make you die inside a little. Finally something that can unite virtually all Americans, the feeling of being crushed under the weight of secondhand embarrassment like a black hole. The unadulterated cringe of “I Could S**t a Better President,” “Cthulhu 2024,” and “Annoy a Liberal, Use Facts and Logic” (roars with laughter) isn’t gonna cut it in the humor department, bub.
Luckily, we’ve sifted through an ocean of lame to find 10 genuinely funny political shirts, just in time for election season. Whatever your political affiliation, there’s something in here for you (and come on, be honest, sometimes the other side has some bangers). Rock one of these bad boys, up your odds of getting a laugh.
10. Trump and cat, for some reason
Yeah, we’re not fully sure what’s going on here. But it’s the bizarre, confusing nature of this tee that makes it funny. There’s something about Donald Trump in a trench coat holding a cat making direct eye contact that really gets us going. What 1980s soft rock album cover was this?
9. Modern problems require modern solutions
This one’s definitely for all people — left, right, and center. There’s something uniquely satisfying about seeing the entirety of Congress abducted by extraterrestrials. When you’re the least-popular institution in human history, you get what you deserve! Kind of gives a new meaning to “congressional probe,” too.
8. Honest Abe, sneaky shirt
Here’s a “so stupid it’s funny” kind of shirt. Just imagine a human adult actually doing this in public. “So why are you honest?” some innocent grandma asks in the parking lot, and you proceed to pull your garb over your head to reveal, in sequence, your belly, your breast, and Abraham Lincoln’s dignified face. Granny watches in horror, it all unfolding in slow motion.
7. Crushing on Biden
Joe Biden‘s huge toothy grin, the cartoonish hearts, and a ridiculously massive image size all come together into something magical here. You don’t know what to feel first: the romance and charm, the ’90s webpage nostalgia, or the shock of head and shoulders on a tee being bigger than the head and shoulders of the person.
6. Hairpiece on a piece
This one hits different. A flag-painted handgun wearing a Trump hairpiece, my god. You can almost see it being worn by both conservatives and liberals, honestly. Is it a serious shirt, an orgasm of rightwing, patriotic fervor designed by a Photoshop noob? Or is it a joke, a liberal mockery of such things? You decide.
5. Gotcha, Darwin
You can’t argue with classic comedy. The evolution oopsie meme returns with this broadside against Donald Trump. Yes, Trump’s early-human stature (and, assumingly, brain power) will displease some. But research for this article revealed 57 trillion versions of a “How Else Can I Offend You Today?” shirt for conservatives, so… Plus, Trump’s posture was asking for it.
4. Aww, can we choose both?
This one is special, folks. Turning the awfulness of politics into a whimsical, innocent contest is pretty biting. These little cartoonish stuffed animals just want to be played with. Hopefully no children are fooled with this kind of advertising. It’s like those packages that look like candy but are actually edibles. Only here the edibles are rat poison.
3. We have to apologize for this one
If you like retro shirts and juvenile humor, “Eaton/Bush ’69” is for you. It may be low brow, it may require a bold person to pull off, and it may severely disrupt the family gathering, but we cannot stop laughing. We are deeply sorry.
2. Just kiss already!
Well, our descent into madness is nearly complete. Absurdism is surely the only response to this overwhelmingly traumatic, polarized, life-or-death political epoch in which we find ourselves. So sure, have Joe Biden and Donald Trump make out. Makes as much sense as anything else these days.
1. The sweet relief
Or just pray for a meteor to end all this nonsense. This tee is another one that can help us all find common ground. Specifically, a crater 150 miles in diameter. We’re all tired of politics. No shame in rooting for the Rock. (Har har, the one that isn’t named Dwayne Johnson.)