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Professional infant Donald Trump discovers adulthood, crime, and punishment all in one fell swoop

He is proving there is no upper age limit for learning.

Donald Trump $464 million bond and assets
Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images

Donald Trump might have made many resolutions this year, but 2024 is certainly sticking to the one it swore to when it comes to the ex-president — make sure that his character gets the “growth” it missed out on in his early years.

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At this point, being studiously glued to a news source is not even necessary to know that things — which means life itself — are unraveling and going downhill at an alarming pace for Trump. Yes, his lies and manipulations continue to get him the support of his core group and supporters who are ready to mindlessly defend him and his threats of America’s facing a “bloodbath” if he doesn’t win. Even the unhinged comment of his criminal indictments endearing him to Black voters managed to impress the more thoroughly brain-washed MAGAs.

But out there, in the saner world, the fabrications and jumping up and down like a toddler when he doesn’t get his way is not working out for Trump. You play, you pay.

While you and I learned long ago that you have to bear the consequences of your actions, Trump has been under the impression that he can evade anything — a concept that is currently in pieces around him as he finds himself unable to produce the $464 million bond to cover the New York attorney general’s civil fraud case fine against him.

No insurance company is ready to fund such a massive bond amount (they need cash to back the bond and clearly “billionaire” Trump has got squat) and miracles like the $91 million bond he produced in the E. Jean Carroll defamation cases don’t seem to be materializing anytime soon either. Why? Because his lawyers have now resorted to requesting the appeals court to delay posting the bond, as if he exceeds the currently stipulated date of acquiring the said amount, New York Attorney General Letitia James would then have the right to seize Trump’s properties, and gleefully sell them to fulfill the amount he owes.

You know how a child closes his eyes and believes no one can see him now? Trump seems to believe that by stating his properties exceed the amount of the bond, he has compelled insurance companies to take that into consideration, despite knowing that the bond is needed in a case that holds the former POTUS liable for over-inflating the values of his properties. And obviously, he expects everyone else to be voluntarily blind to the fact that his legal bills will only climb higher with his upcoming criminal trials.

Currently, Trump is sticking to the stage of vehement denial — in other words, he is having a meltdown on Truth Social over the possibility of selling his “great assets” at “fire sale prices,” and Twitter is cracking up over it.

In fact, his scream posts and their frequency seem to have broken Truth Social as well.

Once you are done whining, allow us to welcome you to understanding what it means to be an adult, Dear Trump — taking decisions, realizing that burying your head in the sand doesn’t work, and learning that there is no running from reaping the results.