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Stormy Daniels may have just given us the eye-popping look into Donald Trump’s marriage we didn’t need

You'd almost feel sorry for him if it wasn't for all the crimes, embarrassing behavior, and attempted insurrections.

Stormy Daniels is seen arriving to ABC's "The View" on the Upper West Side on March 21, 2024 in New York City.
Photo by James Devaney/GC Images

Donald Trump allegedly cheating on his wife with the adult film actress Stormy Daniels is far from the most morally reprehensible thing he’s done. For one, it passes the low bar of being consensual, which can’t be said of the rest of his sexual experiences that we know about.

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Yet it seems that this event, and attempts to illegally use campaign funds to cover it up, might be the case that finally sees him face some kind of consequence from the U.S. justice system. Until this point, the courts have blundered in their attempts to shut down Trump’s various crimes, which range from run-of-the-mill white collar corruption to an attempted insurrection.

Perhaps it’s because many voters do secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to rule them like a king, but until this point, Trump has been able to avoid jail in a way that is astounding given the multitude of crimes he’s committed and the mountain of evidence that proves it. Even in this case, it isn’t clear that he would receive any substantial jail time if found guilty. In fact, it’s more likely that his toddler-like outbursts will land him in jail, although that is wishful thinking given how leniently he’s been treated until this point.

On the bright side, though, he is undoubtedly being thoroughly embarrassed. He is being forced to sit in the courtroom and listen to facts that don’t paint him in an excellent light. And, in the Stormy Daniels hush money case in particular, his delusional statements are being ripped apart by evidence.

One of the most recent revelations was that, during their alleged meeting, Trump admitted to Daniels that he and his wife Melania (pregnant at the time Daniels claims they slept together) didn’t “even sleep in the same room.”

If this exchange happened, Daniels wouldn’t be the first sex worker who has unwittingly turned into a therapist for her male clientele. While the exact wording of the statement cannot be proven true, there is a mountain of evidence that Trump and Daniels did sleep together and that the president illegally paid her money to keep quiet about the dalliance. This was done via Trump’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen, who has since admitted to it numerous times.

Don’t feel too bad for Melania Trump, though, as she has repeatedly shown a level of callousness that proves she and her cartoonishly evil husband share certain traits that make them a good match. Plus, by not sharing a bed with him, she’s probably avoiding a pretty bad smell. So, all in all, it looks like she’s the one who’s winning this round.