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‘Girl, you are a genius’: Woman wins award for most unhinged revenge by getting payback on her ex with the help of a gummy bear massacre

"'I choose the bear, the gummy bear."

TikTok screenshots via kittymajic
Screenshots via TikTok

All of us dream about getting our sweet revenge on someone who has wronged us at some point in our lives, but not all of us have the guts to actually go ahead and manifest whatever payback we’ve dreamed up in our heads in reality. If this ingenious and imaginative method of revenge on an ex is any indication, however, maybe we should all just go for it, because it might entertain a lot of people many years later.

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Now, if you want to really hurt a guy, a good place to start is probably by inflicting some kind of damage to his car. Maybe with a key dragged across the door (not that I’m endorsing this and/or speaking from personal experience, to be clear). That’s the route TikTok user @kittymajic took one time when she was mad at a boy she was dating. Except, instead of the more typical approach, Kitty elected to go with a more… colorful method. Namely, she dumped a bag of gummy bears on his car hood and let them melt like little rainbow vampires in the 100-degree Florida heat.

Kitty sadly doesn’t have a recording of her masterpiece, but she does have something even better: the voicemail the guy sent her after he discovered the gummy bear graveyard that was now his car. And, just for kicks, Kitty decided to turn the message into an interpretative dance track.

@kitty77021

this is an actual, legitimate voicemail I found from probably 15 years ago LOL LOL πŸ˜† **I felt bad posting this, so when I did, I changed the tone of his voice slightly to protect the innocent, so that’s why he sounds the way he does πŸ˜† and thank God I did cuz y’all blew this shiii up!!!*** He knows who he is if he hears this πŸ˜‚ I normally only get about 200 views, so I am so very glad I changed his voice a little bit because oh my God you guys πŸ˜† you guys have me over here freaking out thinking he’s going to comment on this and I haven’t spoken to the guy in so long I mean like over a decade.. you guys blew this up and now I’m terrified πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† ***STORY TIME POSTED*** #voicemailsound #voicemailtok #messagefromex

♬ original sound – Kittymajic

Kitty’s fearless revenging and unrepentant attitude made her an instant inspiration to the people of TikTok, particularly those who’ve felt the need to get their own payback in the past. “Girl you are a genius,” one comment admired, while another kicked themselves for not doing this themselves: “You put gummy bears on his car?!?! That’s UNHINGED. Why didn’t I think of that?!?” Others are demanding someone turn this into TikTok’s next viral sound: “Someone please remix this and let me know when I can rave to it.”

Hilariously, it seems Kitty’s act of gelatinous vandalism has gone on to become one of her ex’s favorite anecdotes. In a brilliant coincidence, Kitty got to interact with another of the guy’s former girlfriends who admitted: “Nooo. Because my ex is from Florida and he told me his ex did this to him.” An exchange of initials confirms this is indeed the same man. What’s unclear is if the man can now see the funny side of the whole affair.

Speaking of affair, obviously something folks were desperate to find out was what Kitty’s ex had done to deserve the gummy carnage that she unleashed. Thankfully, she followed up her viral dance video with a story time revealing the full picture.

It turns out this voicemail is actually 15 years old and Kitty was just a teenager at the time. When the guy she was seeing (who only lived five doors down) flaked on meeting up with her, she noticed another girl going into his house. In retrospect, Kitty realizes this girl could’ve been there to see his brother, but at the time this didn’t occur to her as the red mist had descended. And yellow mist and green mist and all the other colors of gummy bears there are. She had a bag of the sugary sweets with her, an idea struck her, and the rest is TikTok history.

As one commenter put it, “I choose the bear, the gummy bear.”

@kitty77021

#stitch with @Kittymajic okay for all you guys asking for the story, here’s the story time! I forgot to mention that we did have a mutual agreement on using the b word so that is why he chose the words he did LOL but here’s the story, enjoy πŸ˜† #messagefromex #voicemailtok #voicemailsound #stitch

♬ original sound – Kittymajic

If you’re looking to take a more zen, wellness-oriented approach, there are more therapeutic ways to get revenge on your ex, with some of those recommended including starting a new hobby, focusing on your career, and generally just living your best life. That said, there’s a chance Kitty may have inspired a wave of car-related gummy bear massacres across Florida and other balmy climes. This is, after all, the ultimate proof that revenge is a dish best served hot.