Tobey Maguire’s version of Peter Parker was always a little savage, which is why we got all those glorious bully Maguire memes. However, a video on TikTok has turned his Spider-Man into a downright sociopath lacking empathy or any kind of heroic nature.
The videos posted by TikTok user Howieazy feature an alternate version of Disney Plus called “Disney Minus,” and it feels a lot like the Interdimensional Cable from Rick and Morty. It’s a strange and scary streaming service that doesn’t exist in our reality, and it features the heroes and movies we love, but with some pretty big changes.
In one video that focuses on the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie, we see Peter Parker in the same situations we remember from our last viewing — although his behavior differs quite a bit. This version of Parker is way less caring, and his new mantra is “I missed the part where that’s my problem,” which he says in response to almost anything.
Uncle Ben wants to paint the kitchen with his nephew? Not Peter’s problem. There’s someone trapped in a burning building? Nope, he’s not dealing with it. MJ confesses her love? You guessed it, not his problem.
Howieazy’s hilarious reactions to evil Peter make for an incredibly funny TikTok, “That ain’t Spider-Man, that’s Problem-Man!” His commentary on Peter’s actions adds another level of funny as he seems as surprised as us by what he’s seeing.
The video has 7.4 million views and 1.4 million likes and is one of many uploaded by the TikToker. If you’re looking for more videos like it, then you’ll be pleased to hear there are many more from the same creator — all of them equally as funny.
As for the strange parallel universe Spidey, let’s just hope we don’t see him make an appearance in Beyond the Spider-Verse next year. He’s way too mean; he’d make the others cry.