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‘I’m sorry I was out of grandparents’: Girl’s attempt to recruit a fake grandpa for school goes so wrong she gets sent to juvenile detention

"It's giving that one 'Shameless' episode."

TikTok screenshots via @hazey.0
Screenshots via TikTok

We all do crazy things when we’re young, right? Who hasn’t looked back at the halcyon days of their adolescence and thought “wow, I really was dumb to a hazardous level back then?” TikTok user @hazey.0 might just have us all beat, though, with her reminiscence over the time she recruited a fake grandpa for a school project but it took such a violent turn it set her on a path that ended in juvie.

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“You know those kids in school who were, like, really bad?” Hazey opens her video. “Like, you just couldn’t believe that it would cross their mind to do the things they did? Well, I was that kid at my school.”

Hazey explains that, on top of the typical parent-kid bonding events like “Muffins for Moms” and “Donuts for Dads,” her elementary school once threw a “Goodies for Grandparents” day. However, as young Hazey didn’t have any grandparents but didn’t want to come across as a “loser,” she decided the only option was to find a fake grandpa for the day.

Spoilers: it did not go well.

It sounds like Hazey’s imposter grandparent was generally a sweet old geezer, but unfortunately she found out on the day that there was, in her words, “something wrong in his head” and he was “really senile.” So when he showed up for Goodies for Grandparents, things initially went smoothly, until some kid accidentally spilled a drink on him. The old man proceeded to “lash out,” screaming obscenities at this kid, and allegedly throwing his dentures at him. He was obviously removed from the scene and young Hazey got in heaps of trouble for endangering the children’s safety. Her defense? “I’m sorry I was out of grandparents.”

The people of TikTok have no idea what to make of Hazey’s story, with an intense debate raging over whether she’s yanking our collective chain or not. “It’s giving that one Shameless episode,” someone pointed out. For those who are on Team It Definitely Happened, though, they are in awe of Hazey’s chaotic energy. “I’m so fascinated with your life,” one user admitted, while another sad soul asked: “how are y’all lives so interesting!?” Also, if you want to feel as old as Hazey’s fake grandparent, half the comments are full of people asking what senile means.

Although it’s hard to fully comprehend the sitcom character brain that Hazey seems to possess, to be fair to her many people have criticized the “Muffins for Moms” tradition, particularly when over 30% of American children are being raised in single parent or non-parent caregiver homes. So you could say Hazey was ahead of the curve in rebelling against the archaic tradition in this way. Or maybe she is just a danger to society who may have watched way too many Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows.

While this incident itself didn’t lead to her getting sent to juvenile detention, this is one wild childhood incident that Hazey says led up to her eventual spell in juvie in her teens. So maybe that senile, violent, denture-launching old man made a grandparent-like impression on her after all, and helped guide her down her (admittedly wayward) path. It’s kind of heartwarming when you think about it. Unless you are that kid who probably still has nightmares of snapping, flying teeth.