Everyone’s got a take on Donald Trump‘s attempted assassination. Maybe you think it was faked by the man himself or else insidiously orchestrated by Joe Biden, or maybe you don’t have any sympathy for the guy at all and are comparing him to a “mafia boss” getting shot. For others, with a more pronounced dark sense of humor, the worst thing about the shooting is that Trump is going to be bringing this up ’til the end of time.
“It’s crazy, they really shot Trump… You know how annoying he’s going to be now?” said TikTok user @davinbrunson in the wake of the July 13 incident, before whipping out one of the most unexpected and yet most accurate Trump impersonations you’ll ever hear. Not just in terms of the replication of the cadence of the former president’s voice and his mannerisms, but the… unique way his brain works, too.
“They tried to shoot me, they missed. They couldn’t kill me, you can’t me, I’m invincible,” Davin Trump says, in what will no doubt prove to be a mirror to what the real deal will tell the crowd at his next (hopefully better secured) rally. “They shot me in the ear, what an idiot. It’s not even a vital organ.”
“In the hospital I had a Black… An African doctor, and he worked very well, he’s my good friend,” Davin Trump continues, in a spot-on spoof of Trump’s fondness for pointless, politically incorrect tangents. “He helped me, he saved me. I didn’t need saving but he saved me. He helped me, he got the bullet out… but he was Black.”
“This is a dying nation, and I’m not gonna die on this nation,” Davin Trump states, before concluding with the obligatory pot-shot at Joe Biden. “I survived this shooting. My competition, he could never survive this shooting. If he was shot, he’d be dead. You wouldn’t even have to shoot him. You could just breathe on him, he’s that old.”
TikTok is in awe of just how ominously authentic Davin’s take on Trump is, so much so that they are convinced he must have insider knowledge. As one commenter wrote: “So this the guy who’s been writing Trump’s speeches.” Others are convinced someone on Team Trump is going to see this and is about to rip it off for Trump’s next public appearance. “U just gave him his next speech fr,” they joked.
Trump will make his first public speech since the incident on Thursday at the RNC in Milwaukee, with a new speech written in the wake of the shooting instead of the one that was prepared beforehand, which he claims was a “humdinger.” If Trump starts talking about being invincible and ears not being vital organs during this new speech then you know what’s happened.