Warning: This article contains mentions of rape and sexual assault. Please read with care.
In 1993, Donna Palomba had a happy home life in Waterbury, Connecticut. She married his college sweetheart, John, 12 years prior, and they had two children ages 5 and 7. All was well in the Palomba household until one night when an intruder entered the home and sexually assaulted the 36-year-old mother.
John and Donna were invited to a friend’s wedding in Colorado in Sept. 1993. However, Donna, a marketing executive, had some responsibilities at work that she couldn’t get out of, and the couple decided that it was best for John to attend and for her to stay home so she could fulfill her work obligations and take care of the two children. The trip was a big deal for the couple, as they had never spent a night apart in their 12 years of marriage. As always, John reminded his wife to lock the doors and be safe.
The night of Donna Palomba’s assault
On that Friday night, Donna tucked in her children and went to her bedroom to sleep. Just after midnight, however, she awoke to footsteps that didn’t sound like children’s feet. That was when she saw a masked intruder enter her bedroom. Before Donna could do anything, the man covered her mouth and tied her hands behind her back. He then cut her clothes with a knife and raped her.
Afterward, the intruder put a gun to her mouth and then her head. He told Donna that if she reported the rape to the police, he would kill her. The man then left the home. Donna immediately checked on her children and fortunately, they were unharmed and still in their beds sleeping. She tried to phone the police but found that all the telephone lines in her home had been cut. Donna fled to a neighbor’s house where she called 911.
Authorities didn’t believe her
Donna called family members and told them of the incident, but she didn’t want to tell her husband just yet. “I did not want to call John and I would not want to talk to him at this moment to frighten him when he couldn’t be there. That would just be torture for him,” she said. When authorities arrived at her home, they did not have forensics with them. They didn’t take photos of the scene, nor did they collect fingerprints that could potentially help identify Donna’s rapist. She was brought to the hospital where gashes from her bound wrists and a scratched cornea were treated. She also had a rape kit done.
When John arrived home from the wedding, he immediately knew something was wrong. He found deadbolts on the door and Donna wearing sunglasses. Donna told her about what happened, and John was devastated that he wasn’t home to protect his family. “I remember him flying out of the room and just saying, ‘No!,’ and ‘How could this happen?’ It was his worst nightmare,” Donna recalled.
Donna was hopeful that police would help find her assailant, but she soon found out that authorities received a tip about the case alleging that the rape didn’t occur. The tipster claimed Donna was having an affair and one of her children caught them in the act, so she fabricated the rape to cover up her infidelity. After a few days, the lieutenant in charge of the case read Donna her Miranda Rights and threatened to charge her with filing a false police report.
The lieutenant said he had “rock solid” evidence that Donna had lied, and pushed her to tell him what truly happened. The evidence, Donna said, was the unsubstantiated rumor that the tipster called in. Donna hired an attorney, and her case was transferred to a new team of investigators. According to Donna, the fact that authorities didn’t believe her was, in many ways, more damaging than her rape.
Who attacked Donna Palomba?
Authorities had the assailant’s DNA from Donna’s rape kit, but there wasn’t a match in the database until 11 years later. In 2004, a 21-year-old woman from Waterbury was almost attacked in a similar manner as Donna’s case, but the woman was able to run away. The alleged attacker was John Regan, and he was a close friend of Donna’s husband. Authorities compared the DNA samples from the two crimes, and there was a match.
On the night of Donna’s attack, Regan attended a bachelor party in Waterbury, and he was aware that Donna was alone at home with her children. The revelation that the assailant had been one of John’s closest friends was a blow to the couple. “If I were to name like 10 friends that were closest to me, he probably would have made that list. That’s how well we knew each other,” John said.
Regan was charged with several crimes that involved different individuals. In Donna’s case, he was charged with kidnapping, as the statute of limitations for rape had already lapsed by the time he was identified as her attacker.
In 2007, Donna founded Jane Doe No More, a non-profit organization that helps and empowers victims of sexual crimes. The organization’s mission is to improve how society responds to sexual crimes through various initiatives.
If you know someone suffering from sexual violence, contact RAINN or the National Sexual Abuse Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.