Shawn Finch and Alliya Batista on 90 Day Fiancé: Love In Paradise are a true demonstration the power of love regardless of external circumstances. So, let’s dive deeper into their relationship.
In a lot of ways they’re like any other 90 Day couple, they have to navigate long distance, they yearn for each other and they plan on marrying one day. The thing that sets the couple apart is that Shawn used to be dating a man named Douglas, who is now a woman named Alliya, and they’re still very much in love.
In Season 4, episode 1, Shawn is getting his hair done and tells his hairdresser “I met someone. A beautiful Brazilian and she prefers me blond.” In the confessional interview, Shawn says that he’s been in love with Alliya “for the past three years.” He calls her “the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” Romance!
We then get a glimpse of Alliya from behind on a beach in a very form-fitting dress, long hair and well basically looking “super hot,” as Shawn puts it. “She’s the whole package,” he says.
The hairdresser comments that Alliya “sounds perfect.” Shawn laughs. “Perfect. That’s an interesting word.” The hairdresser, like all of us, wants all the tea. Let’s let Shawn explain it.
“When I first met Alliya, she was he, and he was Douglas.” We then see Alliya for the first time from the front. The hairdresser is at a loss for words. “Yeah it’s a little complicated.”
“Alliya’s biologically male,” Shawn says over pictures of Douglas, and pictures of the two of them together on the beach canoodling. “He would wear makeup” but would “always have boy clothes, boy muscularity, boy hair.” Shawn said he didn’t really think “anything of it.”
About a year and a half into their relationship, Shawn explained, “everything started to change.” However, this didn’t deter Shawn from his love for Alliya, and in fact Shawn planned to propose. The couple have a 36-year age gap, with Alliya being 25 and Shawn a spry 61. Despite the age difference, Alliya said yes to Shawn’s proposal.
Obviously, it’s difficult territory to navigate when the person you love decides to make a change like that, but Shawn is supportive and accepting. The question on a lot of people’s minds is how the relationship works under those circumstances.
As for Shawn, he still has some issues he vocalizes because he feels he never really had a chance to say goodbye to Douglas and admits he wanted closure.
“It was jarring because I didn’t expect that,” he said. “I felt so sad that I didn’t get to say goodbye to Douglas. I never had any closure. So that was really hard.”
The transition happened when the couple was apart in their own countries, meaning the last time they saw each other was before the transition, meaning Shawn didn’t know it was the last time he would see Douglas. Since he wasn’t introduced to Alliya beforehand, when he found out it felt “like a car crash.” That is indeed complicated.
Despite the lack of closure, Shawn is incredibly understanding, and he said he’s happily in love.
“The person going through this probably knows that this is an issue for them for years and years and years,” he said. “And they’ve been saying or wanting to say goodbye and shed their old skin and become the new person that they always wanted. So, if you’re a good partner, you want your partner to be happy.”
So how does Alliya feel about the whole relationship? In an interview with Distractify, Alliya said her relationship with Shawn works because he doesn’t try to control her or change who she is at heart.
“All the people that I met [before Shawn] were trying to control who I am,” Alliya said. “They say something like, oh, ‘you need to look less feminine. You’re being too much.’ And Shawn was different. He doesn’t try to keep me in a box. And I also don’t allow him to keep me in a box.” Congrats to the happy couple!