I bet NONE of you expected a sitcom on this list, and honestly, when I began writing it, neither did I.
I was all set with bringing you Omar from The Wire for this entry, or maybe Captain Mal from Firefly. Hell, even Magnum P.I crossed my mind (which I blame entirely on drugs), but it hit me as I was writing. The word BADASS is in the title of the article, and it is about guys on TV. Outside of a few men mentioned above, who is more badass than Ron Swanson?
You realize that if you answer anyone but Ron his mustache will crawl in through your window and beat you to death while you sleep, right? The salted scent of bacon will be the last thing you smell as you fade from consciousness.
No, but seriously, the idea of a badass is a man (or woman) who can kick ass, takes no shit and probably gets (or has gotten a lot) of tail at one point. I am sorry, that is just how this list works. You can say Walter White maybe didn’t get a ton of ass in his life, but he COULD have, he just didn’t know it.
You want to understand why Ron Swanson is on a list of badasses? The man walks into a restaurant and orders ALL OF THE BACON AND EGGS THEY HAVE. No, seriously, all of them. If you think anyone has ever pulled off such a badass move, you are lying to yourself and to me. That was the moment Ron Swanson defined himself as a badass. He’s a man who bleeds bacon grease and doesn’t know what “crying” means. That, my friends, is the badass we all want to be.
Here’s hoping Ron goes out in as epic a fashion as Walter White did. Swanson DESERVES that, dammit!
Honorable Mention:
Tatianna Maslany as EVERYONE in Orphan Black
Though she deserves much more than an honorable mention, this list was mainly patriarchal (yes, I just willingly used that word). I see that, though did it unintentionally, I assure you. Skylar and the female badasses deserve their own list, and they will get one. For now though, without ruining anything about this wonderful show that not enough of you are watching, Tatianna Maslany might just be the most badass person on the list, gender be damned. She is like Linda Blair in T2 levels of badass, and that analogy works on a lot of levels because of the whole clone thing, but I will stop myself now.
To tell you any details about her character(s) on the show will ruin it. Just trust me, check out the show Orphan Black out if you haven’t. It is whole new levels of badassery.
Feel free to post your favorite TV badasses that I missed in the comments, and tell me what an awful job I did and how my mother should burn in hell for birthing me, like you guys do for every other list I write on here.